Thanks a lot everyone for your sage advice! I'm going to return this potentially hazardous crap I got and get some legit stuff from either BAs or Drs F&S (haven't decided which one yet - leaning towards the filter floss at BAs at the moment, to try to get crystal clear water)
One question that's been nagging at me for a while - for the Eheim classics (and maybe for the others as well), what is the rationale for putting the fine filter pad after all the biological filtration media? Wouldn't you want the fine filter pad before to prevent debris from clogging up the biological media? I do realize that there are the ceramic rings and then the coarse filter pad before, but just wondering why the fine pad comes after?