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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 07:54 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Sigh

Two days ago my 21 pot-head brother had access to my computer and sent appauling messages to some of my friends on my computer. I confronted him about it, and in the process pushed his Gibson SG a few inches over, leaving it unharmed but getting a rise out of him. Well it turns out I did about $5.00 worth of damage which I would of been more than happy to pay.

Unfourtunatly, my brothers irrational sence of equality lead him to poisoning my fish. I came home from one of my jobs last night to find my 50 gallon with suds on the surface, three 5" clown loaches, three 4"+ lake malawi cichlids, one ropefish (whom I've had for quite a long time), one skunk loach, and one overgrown chinese alage eater. All dead. Because his sense of revenge was killing my pets. So as a result my dad immediately kicked him out of the house and we called 911 to report this as animal cruelty, despite my neighboors allready calling them due to the ammount of yelling and profanity. So because of my brotheres idiotic lifestyle, we are finally on the edge of kicking him out.
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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 08:08 PM
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Wow, thats terrible. I'm not gonna say pot is like some horrible drug, even though i don't partake in it personally, but it sounds like your brother has some real issues further than the weed. That's so screwed up, i'm sorry that happened. I know revenge sounds nice, but be the bigger person and let his sorry ass go, and maybe get some help somewhere. Sounds like its not something new.
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 08:11 PM Thread Starter
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He has some sort of underlying mental illness, which is in turn being made worse by his excessive smoking.
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 08:41 PM
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That's a real bummer. I'll agree with the previous two people that it has little or nothing to do with his smoking weed. He has issues beyond that. I don't think smoking excessively would make someone do that. If anything, they'd just be sitting on their butt watching tv and eating cookies. Not starting confrontations. That would be more characteristic of an alcoholic.
Sorry to hear about this.

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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 08:55 PM Thread Starter
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It'll be okay, when the police arrived they said that if I had him arrested for animal cruelty he could in turn have me arrested for "breaking" his guitar. I told them he intentionaly killed my pets, how could that possible be equivlent to me accidently inflicting a minor damage on his guitar. He claimed to not have known the soap would do damage to my fish, which is what he told the police, and is also complete BS. What 21-year-old doesn't know that soap will kill fish?

Incidently, we were planning to install a dead-lock on my door for my protection. Had we done that he would of never been able to do this.
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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 09:14 PM
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You should still file charges. Really.
It's worth it to have this animal abuse he did in the system.

Take the punishment for breaking his guitar,
whatever it might be.
It's no big deal.

This guy killed your pets.
I would gladly take a charge of misdemeanor
"chipping" of a guitar to make sure an
animal abuser/muderer would be punished.
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 09:21 PM
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By the same token he is your brother. There is no way he would get jail time or even free counseling for the animal cruelty thing. Most places would probably drop the charges even since they're fish and not like a dog or a cat. Just cut off ties from him, he's obviously screwed up and needs to fall on his ass and realize he needs help. Or, alternately he needs you guys to ship him off to some kind of treatment facility where he can have his issues counseled on.
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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 09:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightshop View Post
Incidently, we were planning to install a dead-lock on my door for my protection.
protection? from him attacking you or your possessions?

i don't know your situation, only from reading these few posts, but it sounds like your brother isn't going to get any better on his own without some outside help.

good luck to you.

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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 09:32 PM
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Quote:
He has some sort of underlying mental illness
I gathered that when I read your first post.

Not an easy easy situation.



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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 10:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightshop View Post
He claimed to not have known the soap would do damage to my fish, which is what he told the police, and is also complete BS. What 21-year-old doesn't know that soap will kill fish?
Sorry to hear that. Well, all people know that soaps and other household products can kill fish so the claim is clearly ridiculous and should not be believed.
I agree that it is not an easy situation unfortunately.

Hope everything will be sorted.
Blue

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Let the loach and snail assimilation begin!
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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 11:02 PM
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Sorry for your loss....I would be very upset, as I know you are.
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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 11:20 PM Thread Starter
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captured!byrobots: That is how I felt the start of the situation, but I thought things through and decided against it.

ianmoede: We have sent him to florida for rehab and have tried an intervention with no sucess. He is choosing to continue to use marijuana, which in turn is resulting in situations like this. For example, he has allready totaled his Honda Civic and my parents Dodge Durango. At this point we are loosing hope. He also refuses to take his medications, as we have sought after psychiatric help for him in the past.

el_santo: To protect my posessions. I don't need to be protected from him, I've got a good 3 inches and 20lbs on him.

But hey, on the bright side I now have an excuse to rescape my 50 gallon for plants and such.
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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-15-2006, 01:20 AM
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I'm with captured!byrobots, I would smash whatever he valued most to pieces just so he could feel how you felt. Then I would smash the replacement.
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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-15-2006, 01:29 AM
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Wow that must really suck and the sad thing is that its your brother.. atleast he got sent to rehab. He really needs help. I know he is your brother and all but i would never let someone like that live with me again even if he says he will give up the drugs ad take his meds. Good Luck

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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 12-15-2006, 01:53 AM
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Hi Night shop,

Its a terrible situation that is all too common in this Country. I am sorry that You are having to live this way, but here is the simple Truth:

Your Parents are Enabling Your Brother to live the way that he does. Yes, Your Brother is Responsible for His Decisions/Behavior. But Your Parents are also responsible for Their Decisions/Behavior. You cannot help those who will not help themselves. Your Parents have tried. Their deicision to stand by Your Brother--at cost to everyone--is Their decision--and They are responsible for it. And, Sadly, Their decision really doesn't give Your Brother any reason to change anything.

Do some research on Codependency, Enabling, Alcoholism/Addictions, Adult Children of Alcoholics, etc--the relationship dynamics are all the same. Look up the "Karpman Drama Triangle" and learn it. Understand how people like Your Brother use it without even knowing, and how people like You and Your Parents are on it--whether You know it or not.

Your Brother is old enough to make Babies, Drive a Car, Kill or be Killed, Vote, Drink Alcohol------and Take Care of Himself.

He needs to be out in the world, so he can learn that 99.9999999999999999% of the people running around don't care at all about him. Then Maybe he'll begin to Value those who do.

HTH


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