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Old 06-15-2004, 06:40 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by George Willms
On a side note, I'm wondering now if there is some correlation between depression and aquaria keeping, seems like quite a few of us are or were at one time suffering from it.
I think it's more that people in the aquarium community (or maybe just this forum) are more willing to open up and discuss the issue. If I look at the people I know that have depression (there's probably more that I don't know about) they come from all walks of life, and it surprised me how many people suffer from it.
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Old 06-15-2004, 09:55 PM   #17
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Sometimes my fish tank is the source of my depression. Especially when I move it 2 in 2 months, and allI see is BBA.

Don't ask.
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Old 06-15-2004, 09:56 PM   #18
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right now about 85% of my plants are in a pale..... definately not an uplifting experience for me.... I can never do anythnig right.

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Old 06-16-2004, 01:04 AM   #19
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Here, take comfort in the misery of others.

Last Friday, a person (and we now know who it is as does the Iowa and Missouri Attorneys general) decided to hijack our email account and other personal information to sign us up for dozens of mail lists, porn offers etc, which has now caused our email account to freeze three times from all the spam.

Legitimate emails have been rejected, eBay even contacted us to verify our contact information because one of our customers filed a complaint after the purchased something and could get ahold of us when his email was rejected.

The funny thing is, this person left a trail right to their front door literally, we even know the name of his computer "laptopp". In fact he was so stupid, he must have forgot highspeed lines don't change IPs all that often in some systems so emails he sent to us last month had the same IP and computer name, and he definitely didn't even try to cover his tracks.

As we speak, we have been forwarded the logs from over a dozen of the companies he signed us up with and those companies have filed their own complaints with the Charter Communications network people in the St. Louis area. I wonder if he even knows what an IP is. I can imagine the stories he's going to try and cook up, but it's rather hard to deny it when "laptopp" left a paper trail so to speak that a three year old could follow.

Unfortunately for him, I managed a computer store for five years before moving to my current job, so I know the basics of tracking an IP and determining if it was spoofed or not, in this case it clearly wasn't.

And I just happened to have sold the person who will be investigating this for the IAG his laptop, know him quite well. He said it would be worth a trip to MO just to see the schmucks face when they present him with a search warrant at his place of business and home. Who knows, maybe I can get video.
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Old 06-16-2004, 01:20 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cich
right now about 85% of my plants are in a pale..... definately not an uplifting experience for me.... I can never do anythnig right.
hey man, at least you're giving it your best shot. i challenge anyone on this board to admit they've never had a "bad spell" with at least one of their tanks, where nothing seems to grow, except algae. keep in mind you're trying to grow plants, you're not hooking an air pump up to a burping skeleton (not that there's anything wrong with those but anyway...). plants can be a challenge, that's why we're here. anyway take your time and keep trying, you've had good success with your plants in the past so no doubt you will again.

...and as far as the proposed correlation between planted aquaria and depression goes, maybe the connection is that since planted tanks can be relaxing, those that are depressed feel drawn to the hobby. don't really know. but i do seem to recall that over 30% of the population will have to deal with at least one occurence. unfortunately when it comes to the general public it is a very poorly understood illness (as are most psychiatric disorders). compliance rates with medications tend to be low, and this may be partly due to the fact that myself and other health professionals do not spend enough time with individuals explaining what the drugs are supposed to do and over what time line.
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Old 06-16-2004, 01:25 AM   #21
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The problem is, many people who don't suffer from disorders tend to negate those that do as just having a personal weakness. And then you have insurance companies more concerned with their bottom lines than people's health lobbying and hiring "experts" to reinforce the idea.

My wife went into a deep depression after her father died, a few months on medication and some good counseling and she is back better than ever. Luckily we never ran into those insurance types.
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Old 06-16-2004, 01:26 AM   #22
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Here's one for you...from my loving girlfriend

1. Big argument with me over stupid crap...that's been resolved.
2. She works sales at a small trinket store downtown (in the historic district here) and had two really crappy customers...both middle aged ladies with too much old money and too much time on their hands. They both basically wore out their welcome by having her wrap, rewrap, and again rewrap gifts they purchased. Then one lady calls and mentions the product she bought as a gift was broken. Apparently when the person receiving the gift opened the box it was broken. So in her embarassment she chewed out my girl. My GF was given permission to tell the lady "kiss off, you are no longer welcome in our store".
3. She's about to start (her woman thing)
4. A mild crisis with her apartment finding in Lubbock, TX. She's about to start grad school there in the fall and was told she could apply and pay her deposit online. Apparently their website or server was having some issues so it was frustrating her to say the least. Then a few days later she calls them and says she wants to apply over the phone. Things are fine...then they say all the apartments have been leased out. They then called back and said a girl called and backed out of her apartment.
5. She's supposed to run some errands for her shop (picking up monogramed purses and crap like that) and so she calls the shop and no one is there. The partners are supposed to be there to open, but apparently they had another girl come also and she didn't have a key to get in. So, she had to drive all the way to the store, let the girl in to open the shop, then run the errands. While running the errands, she gets a flat tire. I fixed it.
6. Today at Subway, they give her the wrong damn sandwich. She gets home and doesn't realize its the wrong one until she opens it and it has onions (which she's allergic to). Back in the car to get a replacement.

What a week. Bless her heart.
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Old 06-16-2004, 01:30 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by George Willms

On a side note, I'm wondering now if there is some correlation between depression and aquaria keeping, seems like quite a few of us are or were at one time suffering from it.
Its interesting since I have anger management issues and one of my best friends (a phych doctor) recommended for me to get back into the hobby. Now look what's happend. My GF and my tanks have me broke...
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Old 06-16-2004, 06:56 PM   #24
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Well, I just ran into this talk and I feel the same as a lot of you. I too had a mental breakdown back in 1999, lost my job, got $10,000 in debt in 4 months, boyfriend (of 3.5 years) beat me (first & last time), got evicted, then at 21 years old had to move home. I was severly depresed with manic mood swings, and a cutter! After tons of theropy, drugs and no support from anyone, (no one understood) I gave up on everything and went on my own. I stopped all drugs, all group meetings, got all the toxic people out of my life (well that took 3 years) and just starting doing things the way I wanted too. Not everyone can just stop things, not suggested! Lost a few jobs this way, a few boyfriends, even more friends, but in the long run (5-6 years later) I'm a very happy person, with little up's and down's, I have no toxic people in my life and have found a job that takes me as I am. My biggest deal was the people that I hung around with, you only reflect what kind of people you around & attmospher that you surround yourself with. I really believe in that. It helps to have the right support system, in my case I didn't have one, this hobby has brought me from irrate to pretty level headed at times, (the other way around at times too). Music is another thing that can eiather help you stay where you are, or bring you up! Being a fond fan of the old days music of NIN, Stabbing Westward, Pink Floyd, Zepplin, Doors, and many more that I can't remember! Being an ex-cutter, if anyone needs support, I'm always around. Good luck everyone and remember tomorrow is a new day, it may seem gloomy, but give it a chance! Sorry for my bad spelling.
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Old 06-16-2004, 08:27 PM   #25
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I've been pretty fortunate, drugs have worked wonders for me. I've gotten the most "toxic" person for me out of my life recently (she was always dragging me down and making me feel so bad about myself, not good), and I have great support from family and friends.


Oh BTW:
Good music choices.
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Old 06-16-2004, 08:35 PM   #26
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Heh, toxic people:

5' 7" redhead.

My current wife is actually my highschool sweetheart, we found each other again, and I can honestly say my life has been on a continuous upswing ever since.

It's amazing what people can do when the people behind them won't you slide backwards.
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Old 06-16-2004, 08:37 PM   #27
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is this redhead a txic person, or your wife? or both....
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Old 06-16-2004, 08:45 PM   #28
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heh, ex.

My wife now of 7 years (we actually dated for 15, but that's another story) is the sweetest, most kindest woman you could ever hope to meet. The only stress in my life is that her family has a bad habit of trying to get the husbands to work for the company they own, and I'm pretty damn happy where I am.
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Old 06-16-2004, 09:17 PM   #29
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heh heh.. the most toxic person in my life.. is me... I have many bad habits I am trying to break, and several addictions that are proving quite difficult to overcome. Its an uphill battle, and I have to fight every day to find a reason to "want" to improve.. otherwise I slip back into old routines.

A lot of people have a hard time understanding that people who are ill with some form of Mental illness or mood disorder really percieve the world differently. Sometimes even the simplest every day activity can feel like the end of the world.. or the noise in a seemingly quiet office makes you want to scream.. Its difficult to explain... But maybe I can explain things from my own perspective.

When I am manic, and riding a wave of instability I am overwealmed by own senses... sight, sound, smells.. everything... My senses are so heightened that its crippling. I could be sitting at my desk at work.. trying to work.. but the noise of the air vent above me.. the hum of the computer... Even the sound of coworker breathing beside are so loud and intrusive its like trying to work in the middle of a rock concert. Its tough to think too.. because instead of thinking about individual things. I'm thinking about eveything all at once. Its like trying to listen to a single voice in a crowded room where everyone is talking... I have to strain to pick out an individual thought.

The effort is enormous, and any added stress on top of that is enough to push me over the edge.

Medication tends to throw a fog over the noise.. but its still there... It just makes it easier to filter out the needless stuff. Some medications have shut it all out completely... But thats part of the problem... The crowd is gone.. and then there is nothing to listen to at all... It just kills off any sense of motivation, desire, or drive.

I have yet to find a healthy balance of medication and life, but I'm trying. Every day requires a little bit more effort to go on, but I'm learning.
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Old 06-16-2004, 09:28 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GDominy
A lot of people have a hard time understanding that people who are ill with some form of Mental illness or mood disorder really percieve the world differently. Sometimes even the simplest every day activity can feel like the end of the world..
I couldn't agree more... people tell me to just have a better attitude, or a better outlook on life. Yet depression IS the lack of these very things that everyone is telling me to have! It's really frustrating. It's like telling a blind person to look around him/her. Yes, attitude can be a key to improvement, just not to the point that most people think.

--cich
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