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Old 02-19-2013, 05:15 PM   #61
sapphoqueen
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Like they say it in my country :
"the man is the head, but the woman is the neck"
:P

that's why
:P
LOL
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Old 02-19-2013, 05:25 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by hedge_fund View Post
How often do we read a post and it says "my wife or girlfriend does not let me use the kitchen sink or won't let me have another fish tank" blah blah blah. What is wrong with some of you guys? The day my girlfriend says I can't do something is the day that I'm becoming single....and she's very aware of that. Generally when I get into a new relationship I explain all the hobbies that I am into and tell her that they pretty much come with a package deal. So if you want me then you get my hobbies as well. It works both ways...if she's into pottery or yoga then I'll attend a few sessions with you. But under no circumstances will I ever tell a girl that she "cannot" do yoga or a weaving class knowing that she was into these things prior to meeting me. Which is the same reason that your significant other shouldn't tell you what you can and cannot do.

Worst thing you can do in life is try to change someone. I've learned that back in college that it doesn't work. Best way is to get involved with someone who likes everything about you.

My wife is only concerned about how much money I'm spending. After all, we have a toddler and bills to pay, ccan't always be buying new shrimp. And let's face it, her 5 dollar yoga class isn't quite on par with my 50 dollar shrimp, haha.

Other than that she's awesome, only complains when I get duck weed everywhere, and I can't blame her, that stuff is the devil.
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Old 02-19-2013, 06:35 PM   #63
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Its seems to me that many marital problems arise because people think of "me" before "us". Then again, I have no practical experience in that. XP
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:08 PM   #64
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I'll go ahead and say it- multiple tanks, unless done correctly and you happen to live in 4,000+ square feet is ugly. It just is. Additionally, folks with multiple tank syndrome tend to collect equipment over time that may or may not be functional. It's almost always mismatched and aesthetic takes a back seat to whatever the hobbyist is growing at the time. How many photos have you seen of a 55 with a 20 long or some other aquarium under it with all of the cords, mismatched lights, etc? It's just not attractive, and I actually like this stuff. Finally, multiple tanks tend to get away from the user, so instead of one moderately cared-for tank, you wind up with six poorly tended aquariums. On the other hand, one display tank can be a huge draw and addition to a home's overall appeal.

My girlfriend of 5+ years really enjoys my aquarium, appreciates the routine maintenance, and likes the aesthetic. Actually, we both agree that a 220 would be great in the right home. She likes the idea of that more than a massive television, and so do I.

How did I form such a strong opinion, you ask? 1- 180 reef, 1-180 FW stingray tank, 1- 55 planted, 1- 75 Tanganyikan tank, 1- 40 extra tall community, 1- tub garden, 2- 10 g. quarantine tanks, 1+ desktop aquariums crammed into a 1,200 sq. ft. townhome when I was in college. My roommate was also a fish geek and we thought it would be great to have ALL THE FISH!!! Turns out, it was just ugly and everything was a mess. The place smelled. Sure, we had a lot of really cool fish, but how could you notice with all of the damn aquariums laying around?
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:20 PM   #65
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I think a lot of it is joking. But then again, some people have scary tempers and you never know who will go all Hulk Smash or something. It'd be worse if she gets eye lasers when she's angry.

That said, putting up with someone who is totally into a hobby you don't really understand can be kind of tough sometimes. I really don't get my friend's obsession with cars. Like, they're pretty. They get me from Point A to Point B. But with my luck, a tree falls on it the moment I get a nice one. So it's best I stick to something I like, but won't cry too much if it gets smished.
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:34 PM   #66
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New tank = new purse for my girlfriend, that's how I keep her happy!
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Old 02-19-2013, 11:57 PM   #67
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I'm not married or anything, I do have a girlfriend I've been dating for quite awhile, but we don't live together. So she doesn't quite seem my planted tank obsession fully.

I think if I was married, though, family comes first. When you have left over money to spend from doing whatever that needs to be done, than that's fine if you ask me to indulge yourself. In the mean time, though, I really honestly do whatever I want. It's my money, so why should I be worried about how I spend it, right? I'm not afraid of upsetting anyone because they can spend their own money how they want, and I'll spend it how I want. That being said however, I don't have multiple tanks. The most I'd ever keep is 2.

Last edited by Blackheart; 02-19-2013 at 11:57 PM.. Reason: ...
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Old 02-20-2013, 09:55 AM   #68
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This thread is gold.

My girlfriend will go off on me every now and then about buying fish/plants... Then, she'll say something like, "i really like panda corys, I think I'm gonna get some."
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Old 02-20-2013, 12:11 PM   #69
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we are going through the second wave of modern social feminism, give an inch lose a foot...
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Old 02-20-2013, 04:33 PM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wakewalking View Post
we are going through the second wave of modern social feminism, give an inch lose a foot...
Not if you grow a pair
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Old 02-20-2013, 04:45 PM   #71
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it's called compromise.

more often than not, i assume there was a discussion and the compromise was one that lead to either a smaller fish tank, or no tank. So naturally the spouse will be blamed here for that.

I've compromised. I've also put my foot down. And so has she. No fish tank in the bedroom... ok. didnt want a shrimp tank in the living room? ok, we did a nanocube reef. I'm paying, and doing a ton of work, to renovate the basement? I'm getting a bigger tank for down there.

Hilariously, she had an issue while I was discussing the maintenance room size with her father. I was trying to explain that it was the size it was so we were covering the basement window that is in that maintenance area with a wall or the tank. For some reason logic couldn't get through that that would not be a good idea. So I stated matter of factly that it's going to be the size i want it to be because I'm paying for it to be that size.

that pissed her off, shut her up, the area is now framed out, and she's beyond happy about it haha.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DogFish View Post
From someone doing 30 to life and yes she does not visit this forum. I would highly recommend new couples consider a 3 way money split; OURS, his, hers. No matter who works or how much who makes.
this is the way to go. I work hard for my money, she works hard for hers. I pay the mortgage, she pays the house bills. I also gave her the huge tax refund last year to pay all that with as well since she's mainly a stay at home. As long as I'm keeping up with my end of things financially, it's my money to spend as I see fit. Same goes for her money.
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Old 02-20-2013, 04:52 PM   #72
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Am 56 year's young, and there is only one woman I was ever scared of,My mother.
Hobbie's are often more desireable by most women, for it keep's us out of the bar's after work.
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Old 02-20-2013, 09:54 PM   #73
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wakewalking View Post
we are going through the second wave of modern social feminism, give an inch lose a foot...
Quote:
Originally Posted by GraphicGr8s View Post
Not if you grow a pair
I'm not exactly sure what you're saying, but I don't like where this is going.
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Old 02-20-2013, 10:04 PM   #74
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GraphicGr8s View Post
Not if you grow a pair
Ha ha! That is great!
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Old 02-20-2013, 11:25 PM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GraphicGr8s View Post
Not if you grow a pair
Did I ever say I was the one who was a victim to feminism? I am telling men to watch themselves and just giving information, stop being an idiot and learn to read.

Last edited by wakewalking; 02-20-2013 at 11:25 PM.. Reason: update
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