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Old 01-18-2013, 07:06 PM   #16
Dave-H
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Here's more advice from an old guy:

- look at this situation like this, you DO have a choice about how this does down. if you wanted to, you could sabotage your way out of oxford by intentionally blowing it. So, ultimately you are in control of things.

- your parents may be inflexible of mind, but there can be a lot of value to going to a great school. it could put you on a trajectory that will make your life better, even if it's harder. but like you said, it might not be right for you and that is a legitimate possibly, too.

So, you are in a pretty good position. You have a chance to try out a challenging school that could really bring a lot of value to your life, especially long-term. And, you are in a position to bail on the whole thing if it just totally sucks.

So, why not give it a try? You might find that it's hard, but you learn a lot and you are proud when meet the challenge, and that your future really looks brighter with a stronger education. That would be great.

Or, you might find that just just sucks and you want out. And you can make that happen, and that would be great, too.

Give it a try, and own the decision that you make for yourself after seeing what it's like for a while.
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Old 01-18-2013, 10:30 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aznartist34 View Post
Asian parents never see the other side of this. They only see that you have to go to a good school and do well. Anything less is not acceptable.
I've known many kids, particular Asian kids, the parent nagging is often worse than a physical beating any day.
At least those wounds will heal

I'm kidding, sort of.

I'd prefer the beating when I was at that age.
Got some of those too.

Here's the deal: Friends and social life in middle school is well, Hell. It's very important to you now. Lots of bullies, yea, they claim it's better today, but bullies are sneaky.

So would you rather have nerdy kids who are serious about school, or the thugs at the other school? You lose your friends, but.....you get a brand NEW chance and social status. No knows you, which is actually pretty good in many ways. You'll become friends with plenty of them, fear not.

One door closes, another opens. I was 14 when the folks decided to go to Mexico for a year. I'd been learning French for a year prior, but they changed the last minute. Lost every friend, could not speak Spanish, food was strange, school was intense.

Sucked for about 2 months and then it went from the worse, to the best place and time I had before graduating high school. Also had the best grades.
The best friends later also.

Middle School is social hell, I say go to the best school.
Look at it this way, there are things you want FROM YOUR PARENTS.
So, if you give them what they want academically, then they will get bragging rights(huge factor for them), and you did your part of the deal, so can I have a nice car for the 16th b day? New ipad? New ADA aquarium?

Look, this path will NOT hurt you, it will give you awesome creds for $$$ and jobs later, good schools etc, and the folks will give you everything you want on the side. Sports? As long as you have good grades, most parents will do ANYTHING you want that's not actually lethal or dangerous.

Also, give your folks a break, they still think of you as their baby.They cannot help it. Time flies for them, not for you. You are changing FAST, they are slow and do not change fast, so there's a time warp factor. It is VERY hard for them to understand you as you develop independence.

I say make a deal, "I'll go to the new school, but...........if I do well academically, can I have a new aquarium? Pluuuueeessseeee??"

You will survive.

Do not feel bad, I know college age and even college BS graduates who still get nagged by their folks to become a Doctor or a Dentist etc. 25 years old, still getting nagged. Mostly Asian? You bet.
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Old 01-18-2013, 10:54 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plantbrain View Post
I've known many kids, particular Asian kids, the parent nagging is often worse than a physical beating any day.
At least those wounds will heal

I'm kidding, sort of.

I'd prefer the beating when I was at that age.
Got some of those too.

Here's the deal: Friends and social life in middle school is well, Hell. It's very important to you now. Lots of bullies, yea, they claim it's better today, but bullies are sneaky.

So would you rather have nerdy kids who are serious about school, or the thugs at the other school? You lose your friends, but.....you get a brand NEW chance and social status. No knows you, which is actually pretty good in many ways. You'll become friends with plenty of them, fear not.

One door closes, another opens. I was 14 when the folks decided to go to Mexico for a year. I'd been learning French for a year prior, but they changed the last minute. Lost every friend, could not speak Spanish, food was strange, school was intense.

Sucked for about 2 months and then it went from the worse, to the best place and time I had before graduating high school. Also had the best grades.
The best friends later also.

Middle School is social hell, I say go to the best school.
Look at it this way, there are things you want FROM YOUR PARENTS.
So, if you give them what they want academically, then they will get bragging rights(huge factor for them), and you did your part of the deal, so can I have a nice car for the 16th b day? New ipad? New ADA aquarium?

Look, this path will NOT hurt you, it will give you awesome creds for $$$ and jobs later, good schools etc, and the folks will give you everything you want on the side. Sports? As long as you have good grades, most parents will do ANYTHING you want that's not actually lethal or dangerous.

Also, give your folks a break, they still think of you as their baby.They cannot help it. Time flies for them, not for you. You are changing FAST, they are slow and do not change fast, so there's a time warp factor. It is VERY hard for them to understand you as you develop independence.

I say make a deal, "I'll go to the new school, but...........if I do well academically, can I have a new aquarium? Pluuuueeessseeee??"

You will survive.

Do not feel bad, I know college age and even college BS graduates who still get nagged by their folks to become a Doctor or a Dentist etc. 25 years old, still getting nagged. Mostly Asian? You bet.

time warp factor is huge
im young, i can freshly remember my teen years wishing my life was better and yada yada
im a parent now and i can' begin to understand how fast my son made it to 6 years old, much less in 2 months my daughter will be 4.. 2 months will seem like 2 days

yes i push my son HARD, my daughter HARD
i want them to succeed in life and not have my same failings. its what any good parent would want for their children. as many have said. use this to your advantage. it can only get better from here.

JR HIGH, you will meet most of your lifelong friends here. its a great opportunity.
Also remember, who you surround yourself with will determine your outcomes in life. and the next 4 years will pretty much control the person you will become for the rest of your life..

make smart informed decisions
this from someone who always did not, and was perfectly capable of following his dreams and flying.. now i just work at a car dealership
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Old 01-19-2013, 01:55 AM   #19
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I'm currently a sophomore in high school. This year I've had a pretty packed schedule, with honors chemistry, precalculus, spanish 3, APUS, and IB Bio 1. I've found that the most important thing is not to be intimidated by "traditionally" hard classes (ones that everyone is scared of and thinks that they're doomed to do poorly in). For example, in my school, APUS and honors chem are considered very difficult classes, mainly because of the reputation that they've been given by past students. However I resolved to not let this these class' reputations scare me and make me accept doing poorly (getting B's) as many of my peers have. So far I have an A in both classes, even though my work ethic isn't particularly good. If you have the confidence in your ability to do well, then you will do well.
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:36 AM   #20
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Well guys, I've got to say, you guys changed my mind.
I had a bad day today though, got punched in the face.
(Black eye) Let's put it aside though.
The thing is though... if I do get in... I can't get out until
after 12th grade (college).... unless my parents let me, but
probably not. To answer the question what I want to be,
I'm not very sure. Even though my family/aunts/uncles always
ask me, I just don't know. It's like they PUT their whole hope
on me becoming a doctor. I said MAYBE optometrist. (just because I'm
scared of blood... hehehehe)
I told my dad I wanted to become a lawyer a couple of days ago, and he
said No. Lawyer means liar to him. He even told me, " To become the "best"
lawyer, you must be able to defend anyone. Then all the criminals/murderers
will ask you for help."
BUT NO! I guess he doesn't understand that everyone has a side to the
case. I even showed him that I got every A in Language arts this month
(Arguments/Contradictions)
Do you know what else is horrible about my dad? Ever since he remembered
I'm going to 7th grade, he has been making me read books EVERYDAY (2hrs)
just because I got 87% on this trimester's essay, and he thinks I'm going to
fail the essay for Oxford. Let's see how he likes it if I do fail.
The only good end I get to this is that I get the money that was going to be
spent on the study lessons, which is a quite large amount. First ADA tank
anyone?
Well in general, I'll take the test, and not bomb. (MAYBE, lets see what happens)
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Old 01-19-2013, 03:09 AM   #21
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First thing you need to learn?
Duck.
Your dad makes you read? Can't relate because they couldn't stop me from reading. Everything and anything.
As for a lawyer there are other types of law besides criminal. Estate law, corporate law, etc. Not every lawyer is a liar.
You've still got plenty of time to decide. I just knew in 7th grade the very first time I set type and stepped into a darkroom what I was going to do. Nothing nor no one could stop me. And I am still doing it.
Be what YOU want. You're the only one who will have to live with that decision.

Your dad's not horrible.He only wants the best for a son he loves. If he was horrible he wouldn't care.
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Old 01-19-2013, 06:19 AM   #22
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You don't have to be a criminal lawyer if you decide to practice law.

Edited to say "Oops" I see that the poster above me said the same thing!
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Old 01-19-2013, 11:35 PM   #23
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I'd tell you to just roll with it all right now. Maybe you'll want to be a doctor, maybe a lawyer, maybe something else. This isn't the time to stress over it. There are many areas of many fields. The important thing is to think about what you'll enjoy doing. No job is really glamourous. Most successful professionals work insane hours until they are successful. That's not a bad thing if you enjoy the work. Be true to yourself 1st after all it is YOUR LIFE.

Good luck.
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Old 01-20-2013, 04:46 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DogFish View Post
I'd tell you to just roll with it all right now. Maybe you'll want to be a doctor, maybe a lawyer, maybe something else. This isn't the time to stress over it. There are many areas of many fields. The important thing is to think about what you'll enjoy doing. No job is really glamourous. Most successful professionals work insane hours until they are successful. That's not a bad thing if you enjoy the work. Be true to yourself 1st after all it is YOUR LIFE.

Good luck.
If I wanted to be true to myself, I would want
am aquarium shop, but then again, it's
probably because I'm addicted to the
hobby. :p
And I'm going to go to Oxford,
my cousins actually gave me great
advice.
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Old 01-20-2013, 02:45 PM   #25
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if you want to own a fish store, you could always supplement your income with your job, save up your monies, and open one. of course, a higher paying job will help out quite a bit with that.
i got several scholarship offers when i graduated highschool, but i decided to join the army instead. right now i am training for a different job(was infantry), but when i get out, i plan on going to college for limnology and go do work in places that desperately need it, in the middle east(been there. they NEED conservation work..). a big part of the reason i joined the army first was because i would get a chance to go to the defense language institute, the best language school on earth... ill need arabic to go to the places i want to work in.

5 years into the army, im halfway to my dream job

there are many different ways to get where you want to go, but you will most definitely have an easier time getting there, and faster, if you have good credentials along the way.
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Old 01-20-2013, 03:39 PM   #26
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Keep the peace with your parents until AFTER you get out of HS. Then go for your dreams- open an Aquatic Shop, or become a lawyer, or go to LA to become an extra actor. heh My point is don't make waves now. They have full control of your guardianship. BUT There's nothing they can do about your decisions to follow your dreams later.
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Old 01-24-2013, 03:04 AM   #27
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With a really strong science background you can go into patent law if you decide you still want to be a lawyer. A good grasp of engineering, chemistry, and biology wouldn't hurt if you want to do something professional with aquariums too. Someone has to design all the stuff for sale in the fish store, after all.
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Old 01-24-2013, 03:13 AM   #28
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Here's one word to describe middle school: yuck. It's a really awkward phase and generally I didn't like it. No one seems to understand anything of what's going on and there is so much pointless bullying and everyone seems to think that they know everything. Just try to think about what's going on and don't freak out about anything and don't let stuff get to your head. This comes from someone who was in it just 2 and 3 years ago. You have SO MUCH time to think about your future, and really the most you can do right now is get good grades and try to plan and learn about how you can succeed in high school in the future so that you can get into the college that you want. I know for a fact that my direction and wants for my future have changed since then. Also, your parents cannot decide for you in the future when you move away and go to college. I don't really have experience in that part because my parents have always told me to be what I want to be. Reading is fun, but that does seem a little overboard. Listen to your parents though, because really all they're trying to do is get you to become successful.
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Old 01-24-2013, 05:44 AM   #29
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I guess I'll listen to what my parents say,
at least I have a week away from them.
Going to camp for 1 week for a field trip!
Sucks that it just stopped snowing.
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Old 01-24-2013, 06:26 AM   #30
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You sound like a pretty smart kid and you have a good head on your shoulders. I've been interested in your replies as your level of maturity shows through. I think you and your parents should be proud.
Stick it out man. I think you have a bright future ahead of you.
I believe we're all given special gifts. The ones that choose to embrace whatever they excel in usually find their way to success.
There are bullies in every school. There are also guys that don't like bullies. I set my high schools bench press record as a freshman. None of my friends ever had problems with bullies.
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