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Were you guys scared when you went to Jr High?

3K views 40 replies 24 participants last post by  roadmaster 
#1 ·
I'm going to Oxford next year, and I'm pretty scared.
First of all, I never wanted to go to this school, it's all
my parents. I only think they like it because it is 2nd
best in CA, and kids don't do drugs here. Sometimes I
just think, my parents never listen to me. Well.. here
are he scary things......
In a meeting, it said its common for students to get
B and Cs... And my friends aren't going there either.
My cousins told me they couldn't take the pressure and
they failed through the first year... one of them got there
tank taken away from them... were you guys that scared
when you first went to a jr high? The only good side to
this is that I get the money that was suppose to be spent
for study lessons for the test....
My only way to this is to fail the test, but my parents might think
it's over for me.... I'm telling this to you guys because your
probably been through more than my cousins and your not
going to yell at me... Advice anyone?
 
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#2 · (Edited)
In middle school I was in the GATE program (gifted and talented education). I hated it. I felt like I had to do a lot more work than my peers, but it was still easy. I told my mom over and over that I wanted to be in the regular program, or skip a grade, or anything else but continue in GATE, but she wouldn't listen. So my last year of middle school, I intentionally failed the IQ test required to stay in the program. When I told my mom, she was a lot more understanding than I expected. I still had no problem getting into the high school of my choice (the OC High School of the Arts), I had much better grades, and I actually had time for a life without so much homework. Because I had free time, I got into horses, and a few years later got a job in high school and got my own horse. I can only imagine how miserable I would have been if I had had to stay in the program.
I understand your parent's concern about wanting you to go to a good school. But middle school is meaningless. You don't put your jr high grades on a college application. And every school has drugs. Every school has bullies. Every school has bad influences. I see jr high as being a period of growth, experimentation, and life lessons.
 
#3 ·
Asian parents never see the other side of this. They only see that you have to go to a good school and do well. Anything less is not acceptable. Same situation with me with the GATE program in elementary through AP classes in high school. To me, middle school was easy. High school is where it counts. Middle school was a time to figure out what kind of person you are going to be. Unless you're trying to get into a prestigious high school, a good middle school isn't really all that important imo. You can still receive a good education in honors classes and as long as you are smart about the people you hang out with and not fall into the wrong crowd then you're golden. There's no need to be scared. Look at it as a new opportunity. I moved after middle school and went to a high school where I knew no one and I went to college where I only knew 2 other people. Make new friends and keep in touch with your old ones.
 
#6 · (Edited)
Hang on you're scared of a challenge and willing to accept a lower education so that you dont feel like you're doing more work than your friends




Here's some life tips for you from one of us old fogey's

1. There is nothing to be scared of with new experiences. It's how you become more than what you are today. Things will settle into place after 1 week.

2. Anything worth having in life requires work. The more you put in, the more you get out.

3. Do not get hung up on letter grades. Today's testing system in schools is of little real world value and focuses on memorizing facts over truly understanding a subject. Do your best to understand the subject on all levels and the test will come easy or should not matter.

Letter grades are not a measure of how successful you will be in life. Your drive to work hard and try new things is what will get you somewhere in life. Dont start down the "easy path" now or you'll never turn off of it.

The hard work in your life is just getting started. It only gets harder and more of it the older you get.



oh, and having said all that I am not a fan of the public school systems on any level, regular, advanced or magnet. They are too busy teaching you what to think instead of HOW to think. QUESTION EVERYTHING.
 
#7 ·
Great thoughts by Rbarn!:proud:

I understand at your age it's hard to understand life is a journey not a destination. I also understand the most important thing in your world is fitting in and popularity rank.

People come in and out in our lives. That's not good or bad, it just is. Make the most of where you are today as it prepares you for were you will be tomorrow. The worst thing in life I think is regretting a missed opportunely. Don't allow fear to prevent you form enjoying life.
 
#9 ·
You are going to one of the best schools for that grade level in the state. It's a lot of pressure, sure, but life won't get any easier for you. Study hard, take the initiative and make the best with what you are given. If you are not scared of failing, you can never truly appreciate when you do succeed.
 
#10 ·
My only regret, is that some fifty year's ago,, that I did not apply myself a little more diligently at school.
It was the 70's and being a hippe was at the time ,more interesting/fun.
You WILL thank your parent's one day for wanting what's best for you or,,,you will stuggle with the masses just trying to get by.
trust me,, just getting by ain't pleasant. Is tough and only gonna get tougher.
 
#11 ·
I don't know anything about california schools, but if they're anything like where I grew up in PA. The best, most expensive schools always had the worst drugs problems. Sure, the administrators never think so (guess who the parents listen to), but they don't see the kids after school.

I started off going to private school and got scholarships to the private high schools, but only through copious amounts of begging I went to a public high school. The private schools had far worse drug problems then any public school in the area. The difference is usually in the types of drugs, instead of alcohol and pot, they did cocaine and heroin.

Sorry, that stuff always gets me ranting, as people who haven't seen it first hand just assume it doesn't happen in the "good" schools.

Anyway, like everyone's saying, just keep your head down and do your work. If you can get into the school, you can succeed there. You just got to work at it, I'm sure you'll be fine. From personal experience I can tell you that public school to me was far too easy. It actually hurt me in college, it took me a couple semesters to get myself back into actually doing real work and succeeding. You'll be better off in the long run to work hard now, it'll stick with you the rest of your life, and it's worth it.
 
#14 ·
....The best, most expensive schools always had the worst drugs problems. Sure, the administrators never think so (guess who the parents listen to), but they don't see the kids after school....
Trouble is always out there to be found, all you have to do is look for it. Substance abuse isn't about availability, it's an escape from reality. People that peace with their own mind don't have problems with reality.
 
#12 ·
In life it's all about the mindset and you are getting a great chance to learn the proper mindset. Tackle whatever challenge is put in front of you.
When you become known as the guy that will take any challenge you will see how rare a quality that is.
You're not always going to have the choice of being an also ran or taking the easy way out. The world is becoming a far more competitive place. That's good in a way. Don't stress so much over results. Know that you went after it with everything you have and you will never have a regret. We're rarely offered a second chance in life, make the best of the first chance
 
#13 ·
Thing to remember is after you get out of school your education really begins.
Do you have any idea what you want to do after school?
 
#15 ·
You are a minor. As long as your parents aren't abusive, I am sure they are looking out for you. I wish my parents are like that but..... Seriously, we are talking about junior high school. You need to make it through college and medical school....:icon_mrgr Yes, things may not turn out the way you and your parents wanted but no one knows......

Enjoy the ride.....
 
#16 ·
Here's more advice from an old guy:

- look at this situation like this, you DO have a choice about how this does down. if you wanted to, you could sabotage your way out of oxford by intentionally blowing it. So, ultimately you are in control of things.

- your parents may be inflexible of mind, but there can be a lot of value to going to a great school. it could put you on a trajectory that will make your life better, even if it's harder. but like you said, it might not be right for you and that is a legitimate possibly, too.

So, you are in a pretty good position. You have a chance to try out a challenging school that could really bring a lot of value to your life, especially long-term. And, you are in a position to bail on the whole thing if it just totally sucks.

So, why not give it a try? You might find that it's hard, but you learn a lot and you are proud when meet the challenge, and that your future really looks brighter with a stronger education. That would be great.

Or, you might find that just just sucks and you want out. And you can make that happen, and that would be great, too.

Give it a try, and own the decision that you make for yourself after seeing what it's like for a while.
 
#19 ·
I'm currently a sophomore in high school. This year I've had a pretty packed schedule, with honors chemistry, precalculus, spanish 3, APUS, and IB Bio 1. I've found that the most important thing is not to be intimidated by "traditionally" hard classes (ones that everyone is scared of and thinks that they're doomed to do poorly in). For example, in my school, APUS and honors chem are considered very difficult classes, mainly because of the reputation that they've been given by past students. However I resolved to not let this these class' reputations scare me and make me accept doing poorly (getting B's) as many of my peers have. So far I have an A in both classes, even though my work ethic isn't particularly good. If you have the confidence in your ability to do well, then you will do well.
 
#20 ·
Well guys, I've got to say, you guys changed my mind.
I had a bad day today though, got punched in the face.
(Black eye) :( Let's put it aside though.
The thing is though... if I do get in... I can't get out until
after 12th grade (college).... unless my parents let me, but
probably not. To answer the question what I want to be,
I'm not very sure. Even though my family/aunts/uncles always
ask me, I just don't know. It's like they PUT their whole hope
on me becoming a doctor. I said MAYBE optometrist. (just because I'm
scared of blood... hehehehe)
I told my dad I wanted to become a lawyer a couple of days ago, and he
said No. Lawyer means liar to him. He even told me, " To become the "best"
lawyer, you must be able to defend anyone. Then all the criminals/murderers
will ask you for help."
BUT NO! I guess he doesn't understand that everyone has a side to the
case. I even showed him that I got every A in Language arts this month
(Arguments/Contradictions)
Do you know what else is horrible about my dad? Ever since he remembered
I'm going to 7th grade, he has been making me read books EVERYDAY (2hrs)
just because I got 87% on this trimester's essay, and he thinks I'm going to
fail the essay for Oxford. Let's see how he likes it if I do fail.
The only good end I get to this is that I get the money that was going to be
spent on the study lessons, which is a quite large amount. First ADA tank
anyone? :D
Well in general, I'll take the test, and not bomb. (MAYBE, lets see what happens)
 
#21 ·
First thing you need to learn?
Duck.
Your dad makes you read? Can't relate because they couldn't stop me from reading. Everything and anything.
As for a lawyer there are other types of law besides criminal. Estate law, corporate law, etc. Not every lawyer is a liar.
You've still got plenty of time to decide. I just knew in 7th grade the very first time I set type and stepped into a darkroom what I was going to do. Nothing nor no one could stop me. And I am still doing it.
Be what YOU want. You're the only one who will have to live with that decision.

Your dad's not horrible.He only wants the best for a son he loves. If he was horrible he wouldn't care.
 
#23 ·
I'd tell you to just roll with it all right now. Maybe you'll want to be a doctor, maybe a lawyer, maybe something else. This isn't the time to stress over it. There are many areas of many fields. The important thing is to think about what you'll enjoy doing. No job is really glamourous. Most successful professionals work insane hours until they are successful. That's not a bad thing if you enjoy the work. Be true to yourself 1st after all it is YOUR LIFE.

Good luck.
 
#25 ·
if you want to own a fish store, you could always supplement your income with your job, save up your monies, and open one. of course, a higher paying job will help out quite a bit with that.
i got several scholarship offers when i graduated highschool, but i decided to join the army instead. right now i am training for a different job(was infantry), but when i get out, i plan on going to college for limnology and go do work in places that desperately need it, in the middle east(been there. they NEED conservation work..). a big part of the reason i joined the army first was because i would get a chance to go to the defense language institute, the best language school on earth... ill need arabic to go to the places i want to work in.

5 years into the army, im halfway to my dream job :)

there are many different ways to get where you want to go, but you will most definitely have an easier time getting there, and faster, if you have good credentials along the way.
 
#26 · (Edited)
Keep the peace with your parents until AFTER you get out of HS. Then go for your dreams- open an Aquatic Shop, or become a lawyer, or go to LA to become an extra actor. heh My point is don't make waves now. They have full control of your guardianship. BUT There's nothing they can do about your decisions to follow your dreams later. ;)
 
#27 ·
With a really strong science background you can go into patent law if you decide you still want to be a lawyer. A good grasp of engineering, chemistry, and biology wouldn't hurt if you want to do something professional with aquariums too. Someone has to design all the stuff for sale in the fish store, after all.
 
#28 ·
Here's one word to describe middle school: yuck. It's a really awkward phase and generally I didn't like it. No one seems to understand anything of what's going on and there is so much pointless bullying and everyone seems to think that they know everything. Just try to think about what's going on and don't freak out about anything and don't let stuff get to your head. This comes from someone who was in it just 2 and 3 years ago. You have SO MUCH time to think about your future, and really the most you can do right now is get good grades and try to plan and learn about how you can succeed in high school in the future so that you can get into the college that you want. I know for a fact that my direction and wants for my future have changed since then. Also, your parents cannot decide for you in the future when you move away and go to college. I don't really have experience in that part because my parents have always told me to be what I want to be. Reading is fun, but that does seem a little overboard. Listen to your parents though, because really all they're trying to do is get you to become successful.
 
#30 ·
You sound like a pretty smart kid and you have a good head on your shoulders. I've been interested in your replies as your level of maturity shows through. I think you and your parents should be proud.
Stick it out man. I think you have a bright future ahead of you.
I believe we're all given special gifts. The ones that choose to embrace whatever they excel in usually find their way to success.
There are bullies in every school. There are also guys that don't like bullies. I set my high schools bench press record as a freshman. None of my friends ever had problems with bullies.
 
#31 ·
Bullies can be a pain in the ass, At some point you may have to assert yourself.
A couple tips,, Never throw an arm punch when you can put your shoulder and hip's into it, Make the punch count.
Hit em in the throat,kick em in the groin,and then put your shoulder ,hip's,into best Sunday punch.
Few bullies will return for second's.
Been in more fight's than i've had birthday's ,(was skinny,little).
Even the big fella's aren't likely to pester you, if they think there's a chance they could receive injury,embarassment.
 
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