Why are men on this forum scared of their wives or girlfriends?

[gordonrichards]

My girlfriend doesn't like my 70+ tanks.
If I didn't have the space I couldn't have as many tanks as I run though.
If I lived in a small house I would be limited to less.

She still will come to a show/meetup and will help me with a convention or two.
Though recently she just wanted to go home, who could blame her as its winter and cold in the city.

I have way too many tanks for my own good. Humidity is becoming an issue.
Having her be a voice of reason would be nice but rather than get rid of tanks I'm browsing dehumidifiers.

Also planning on adding another 15-25 tanks this year

-Gordon

[Ashnic05]

Originally Posted by MCHRKiller

A mindset such as this is probably why the divorce rate is so high these days.
Being female and a fish dork...I don't see why some women would have an issue with tanks. However for what I spend on my hobbies...I feel my SO should be able to spend on hobbies. This is perhaps where some complaining happens with couples; one party spends loads on something and the other feels left out and as if they dont have the ability to engage in something they would like to do. I am not married, have been in a long term relationship and currently live with the other.

+1 on this, we play this "what I spend on my hobby, you can spend on yours" game so it works out well. I support his video games and car shows (appauling his mother in the process) and he supports my tank/ fish/ reptile/ any pet addiction. He likes fish but not addicted, and video games are fun for me...for a while and then I get bored. We both participate and we both make decisions on OUR money because it is shared. For a while he worked and I didn't, when before it was the reverse. Even before we were married and living together we shared money so we have both always had EQUAL say in how it is spent. Basically, bills first and foremost, hobbies divided by 2 so each of us gets a share. Makes it simple, straigthforward and we both are happy! It was a mutual decision to keep only one tank for now. We live in a small apartment and until we move, we just don't have the budget or the room. I would LOVE to completely populate our entire place with tanks, but it's just not realistic.

[cichnatic]

Originally Posted by sarahspins

I'm not a guy, but I can't imagine this, simply because I think kids and family should always come before hobbies... if someone honestly can't make that choice, then I feel they may have bigger issues than breaking up over a tank - especially if they don't recognize it.

Exactly. Just replying to op when mentioned about being single if his gf will not allow him to do a certain thing . Marriage is a whole different animal.

[Mumford]

Originally Posted by Dany08fa

i do agree with you if you have a good relationship. but from just my family experience on both my mom's/dad's side of the family more then 50% of them end up getting a divorce. very sad.

just a statistic i looked up real quick:
"The marriage breakup rate in America for first marriage is 41% to 50%; the rate after second marriage is from 60% to 67% and the rate in America for 3rd marriage are from 73% to 74%."

my parents run a restuarant and i'm currently working hard to learn the business. my parents are planning to help me open my own in the future. i've seen to many times were couples get a divorce and the women takes everything... 50% or as much as they can... along with leaving you with a broken heart. granted sometimes the guy deserves it, but othertimes not at all.

good thing there are plenty of fishies in the sea. lol. hopefully one day i'll find the right one so this doesn't happen to me!

And the common reason for divorce... money issues. Or relationship issues caused by money problems.

Just another reason why personal finances are important


- Mumford

[Ashnic05]

Originally Posted by cichnatic

Marriage is a whole different animal.

+10 haha. Marriage needs a whole new set of eyeglasses.

[Shangrila]

I'm married for 19 years had tanks before I meet her and have been in and out of the hobby for all of my marriage. Our money is shared. I don't make dumb desicions such as putting off a roof or new appliance because I want another tank. I have one 60 gallon, 2 20 gallon, and 2 ten gallon tanks. I also have a nice koi pond in my yard. My wife understands and likes my hobby, she wants me to do a saltwater tank I said no way! As others have said family comes first then bills, and hobbies can follow. I feel sorry for guys how have to get clearance for every fart they lay. I'm sure they saw these traits before they got married. How could they think that they would be happy?

[le0p]

I listen to my wife when she says no to more tanks.. Two reasons:

1. It's more important to me to have a good relationship than to have more fish tanks.
2. If it were up to me, I'd buy tanks, fish and equipment until I was broke and on the street. She keeps me from going insane with obsessions.

It's not always her though, sometimes I slow down on a hobby because I WANT to spend more time with her, I want to save for a house, I want to be able to walk into a room without bumping into a tank.

Relationships are about compromise..

[DogFish]

From someone doing 30 to life and yes she does not visit this forum. I would highly recommend new couples consider a 3 way money split; OURS, his, hers. No matter who works or how much who makes.

OURS being bills and savings for the family. Then independent money for both. While a couple is a unit, total relinquishment of individuality crushes one spirit. It's also important to support each other's hobbies even if you could not care less about them.

[Sethjohnson30]

My girlfriend brought home a tank 5 years ago.....I told her no(I pay the power bill). I came home the next day, not only was the tank still there it was full of incompatable species and not cycled....fish were dropping like flies.

At that point I ended up joining tpt. I've had over 20 tanks, currently keeping 8. She hates it. She is also much more careful with impulse buys now.

I love it when she complains about all my tanks and the thousands I've spent on this hobby. I simply say "it's you're fault, you should have got rid of the first one when I told you too" she also did this with an old BMW....we now have two mid 80's bmw's and four parts cars in the driveway.

[thebuddha]

Originally Posted by hedge_fund

"my wife or girlfriend does not let me use the kitchen sink"

Back when I was living at home with my parents, I spit into the garbage disposal of the sink one time and my mom FLIPPED OUT. She thought it was disgusting and inappropriate (I tried to explain to her that my saliva is all over the forks and stuff that gets washed in that very sink anyway, but she wasnt having it)
Dirty fish water surely isnt much better.


Moral of the story, dont mess with a woman's sink.
b*tches love sinks.

[Aquaticfan]

I am fully blessed. I have a BEAUTIFUL wife of 20 years that not only lets me enjoy this hobby but, has the same affliction as I do with this hobby. It makes it all the better having someone who can share it with me. Of course its had its moments of taking back seat in life.. But now Its just her and I, our dogs and fish. Our daughter is all grown and living her own life.

A lesson I learned LOOOOOOOOooooonnnnggggg Agooo..

Happy Wife Happy life.

[kal_daka87]

Originally Posted by Aquatic Delight

i think that maybe some of the times its one of those things where if the wife wasn't saying no, they would end up on hoarders. tanks everywhere, tiny walkways, even a bridge of tanks. hehe i can just see the hoarders crews faces. OMG its so beautiful.....but my god, there must be 12,000 tanks in here.....then out of a planted 250 pops the crazed husband with boesemani rainbow in his mouth!

OMG laughing so hard i'm crying. Ooooh the visuals!

Oh and I think is because men don't negotiate as well as women. I started with a 2 gallon fishbowl, and have negotiated my way up to 2 90G's a 20G and a 15G. Probably about a dozen other tanks of assorted sizes have come and gone in the process of me getting to my big tanks. As long as I'm not spending a fortune, and I don't make a mess. He could care less.

Besides, he still plays with lego, and that stuff costs a fortune! He gets a couple lego sets. I get a new aquarium, or light hood or w/e i need at the time. If I want money for my hobby, I make sure there's some for his.

[pejerrey]

Originally Posted by DogFish

I would highly recommend new couples consider a 3 way

Definitively!

[Conrad283]

Originally Posted by thebuddha

Back when I was living at home with my parents, I spit into the garbage disposal of the sink one time and my mom FLIPPED OUT. She thought it was disgusting and inappropriate (I tried to explain to her that my saliva is all over the forks and stuff that gets washed in that very sink anyway, but she wasnt having it)
Dirty fish water surely isnt much better.


Moral of the story, dont mess with a woman's sink.
b*tches love sinks.

That made me lol


My wife bought $350 earrings today at the mall. Just prior, I ordered two fugeray lights for two new tanks that I got. It all evens out in the long run.

[Conrad283]

Originally Posted by kal_daka87

Besides, he still plays with lego, and that stuff costs a fortune! He gets a couple lego sets. I get a new aquarium, or light hood or w/e i need at the time. If I want money for my hobby, I make sure there's some for his.

My son is 4 1/2 and just getting into LEGO's. I help him do them, and I patiently sit back and let him even though I want to dive in there and do the whole thing. Always a kid at heart