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Old 02-18-2013, 06:00 PM   #16
rballi
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Why are men on this forum scared of their wives or girlfriends?


Some of us either picked up the hobby after the relationship or got into again after some time from being away and we all know how addictive it can be. All of us for the most part started with a little 10 or 20 gallon tank. When that tank turns into 75, 125, 225 gallons, it becomes something a little more than what they might have originally agreed to at first... If my wife was ok with everything I wanted to do, I would be completely broke and cooking up expired, freezer-burned brine shrimp for dinner...

She brings me back to earth when I have a crazy idea or want to blow money on something that I should probably think through first...it acts as a good set of checks and balances.
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Old 02-18-2013, 06:05 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mumford View Post
If you're married and still think of money as "mine and hers" vs "yours together" than you're in for a long and difficult road. Marriage and family is about coming together as a unit.

Thinking that since she doesn't bring home a majority of the income means she can't say anything is at the heart of the problem. Again once that ring goes on you're acting as a unit. When you win she also wins, and when you lose she also loses. You're supposed to be on the journey of life together. Not just dealing with another person a lot because you live together.

Just my 2c's
i do agree with you if you have a good relationship. but from just my family experience on both my mom's/dad's side of the family more then 50% of them end up getting a divorce. very sad.

just a statistic i looked up real quick:
"The marriage breakup rate in America for first marriage is 41% to 50%; the rate after second marriage is from 60% to 67% and the rate in America for 3rd marriage are from 73% to 74%."

my parents run a restuarant and i'm currently working hard to learn the business. my parents are planning to help me open my own in the future. i've seen to many times were couples get a divorce and the women takes everything... 50% or as much as they can... along with leaving you with a broken heart. granted sometimes the guy deserves it, but othertimes not at all.

good thing there are plenty of fishies in the sea. lol. hopefully one day i'll find the right one so this doesn't happen to me!
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Old 02-18-2013, 06:23 PM   #18
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Because we girls can be scary when we get going Especially during 'that time of the month'. Chocolate bribes help
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Old 02-18-2013, 06:31 PM   #19
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I started in this hobby when we were dating. Her brother brought her home a snapping turtle out of the Hudson. So naturally I bought her a tank for the turtle. Then I bought me a tank for fish. And another. And another. Until we had 20 tanks. In a 3 room apartment. So this is all her fault anyway. 32 years later I still have tanks. 4 in the house. The rest in the fish house. Sometimes I may spill water. Sometimes I may even wipe it up. Or she does. If I forget or she refuse I just don't care. I Don't Care. 3 of the most freeing words in the english language. I Don't Care. Coach Hayden Fox
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Old 02-18-2013, 06:33 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Betta132 View Post
Because we girls can be scary when we get going Especially during 'that time of the month'. Chocolate bribes help
Even then it's not bad. My wife has had entire conversations on the ride home from work. I haven't heard a single one. All a matter of knowing when to say yes, uhhuh, no, possibly, sure. Well unless fish, tank were mentioned in the same sentence. Meantime I've already figured out all my plans for the evening while she's rambled about this, that, or the next thing.
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Old 02-18-2013, 07:08 PM   #21
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My solution is simple. I don't live with my girlfriend. This allows me to keep my spider-man sheets and star wars themed bedroom too! haha!

I did let her put three male jade head guppies in one of my tanks. She said all of my fish were ugly and boring. So I compromised. Next she wants the neon green version of the black skirt tetras. I'm still debating on this one. That just might be too much.
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Old 02-18-2013, 07:21 PM   #22
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Cause girls are scary......
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Old 02-18-2013, 07:21 PM   #23
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Funny topic.

Lots of men don't have a pair.

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Old 02-18-2013, 07:26 PM   #24
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Default Why are men on this forum scared of their wives or girlfriends?

Glad people are participating. It's been slow here so a fun topic was needed. I'm loving the variety of responses.


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Old 02-18-2013, 08:42 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dany08fa View Post
if you already have a wife/family/gf/kids then YES they do come first. but if your hobby/hobbies are that importent to you like it is to me then you should have thought about that before hand... i know that there is no way i could live without doing my passions! and i have a lot of them.

i know that before i get married (or if i do.. haha) the wife is gonna have to deal with my aquarium room, my huge garage filled with cars, i will be buying a boat or 2 and the house will be the way i want it, etc.... call me selfish, but unless she's bringing in the majority of the income she has nothing to say. not saying there will be no comprimise or i won't do anything nice for her, but she's definatilly not gonna tell me what i can and cannot do with my money. PERIOD!
A mindset such as this is probably why the divorce rate is so high these days.

Being female and a fish dork...I don't see why some women would have an issue with tanks. However for what I spend on my hobbies...I feel my SO should be able to spend on hobbies. This is perhaps where some complaining happens with couples; one party spends loads on something and the other feels left out and as if they dont have the ability to engage in something they would like to do. I am not married, have been in a long term relationship and currently live with the other.
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Old 02-18-2013, 09:11 PM   #26
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my wife is personally jealous of my tanks, and not because i don't spend time with her or the kids,
its because i have a fun hobby and she doesn't although encouraged to do so, she puts her time elsewhere. so im not scared of her, but i absolutely agree with work together, but do what you want. neither of us stops the other from doing somethig we want as long as its logical, or at least within reason. im not gonna drop 10,000 bux on a new fish room if we need a new roof. but i might get a 5 gallon tank by my bed if we need a new roof, much more logical spending for example
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Old 02-18-2013, 09:12 PM   #27
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I choose not to participate because my wife might read this. :/
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Old 02-18-2013, 09:42 PM   #28
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I guess I'm a lucky bastard then, because my wife loves having planted tanks in the house for aesthetic and being engulfed in the whole Nature Aquarium essence. Though I couldn't get her to touch my planted aquariums if my life depended on it. She totally digs shrimp though so she learned how to do all the water parameter testing/monitoring on her own since I hated shrimp (in the beginning). Me, I'm more of a hands on, trial n error guy... tests, what tests? lol I do what I know and what works for me. We compliment each other working together and that's how we've always been.
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Old 02-18-2013, 09:42 PM   #29
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I am a wife, and I am very deep into this hobby... always have been. I don't have problem with my husband saying no to me because there is a reason he's saying it, and 9/10 times I am really only joking about getting another tank. I do have plans for future tanks but we also live in a small house right now so I am fortunate to have 3 tanks up. As is my tanks take up one wall in the living room and the small tank takes up a good amount of space in the kitchen, and that is why he says no.

It's not like I have my fishroom and we have the money for it but he's coming in and putting his foot down. Besides, I would happily choose him over the hobby. I come from parents that were together for 43 years before my mom died, and I want this to be my only marriage for my future kids sake.
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Old 02-18-2013, 09:56 PM   #30
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Well unfortunately for my wife, after seeing a recent episode of The Walking Dead where they had a wall of tanks I have another idea for a new setup.
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