Were you guys scared when you went to Jr High?
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Old 01-18-2013, 04:57 AM   #1
Kinection
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Default Were you guys scared when you went to Jr High?

I'm going to Oxford next year, and I'm pretty scared.
First of all, I never wanted to go to this school, it's all
my parents. I only think they like it because it is 2nd
best in CA, and kids don't do drugs here. Sometimes I
just think, my parents never listen to me. Well.. here
are he scary things......
In a meeting, it said its common for students to get
B and Cs... And my friends aren't going there either.
My cousins told me they couldn't take the pressure and
they failed through the first year... one of them got there
tank taken away from them... were you guys that scared
when you first went to a jr high? The only good side to
this is that I get the money that was suppose to be spent
for study lessons for the test....
My only way to this is to fail the test, but my parents might think
it's over for me.... I'm telling this to you guys because your
probably been through more than my cousins and your not
going to yell at me... Advice anyone?
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Old 01-18-2013, 06:15 AM   #2
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In middle school I was in the GATE program (gifted and talented education). I hated it. I felt like I had to do a lot more work than my peers, but it was still easy. I told my mom over and over that I wanted to be in the regular program, or skip a grade, or anything else but continue in GATE, but she wouldn't listen. So my last year of middle school, I intentionally failed the IQ test required to stay in the program. When I told my mom, she was a lot more understanding than I expected. I still had no problem getting into the high school of my choice (the OC High School of the Arts), I had much better grades, and I actually had time for a life without so much homework. Because I had free time, I got into horses, and a few years later got a job in high school and got my own horse. I can only imagine how miserable I would have been if I had had to stay in the program.
I understand your parent's concern about wanting you to go to a good school. But middle school is meaningless. You don't put your jr high grades on a college application. And every school has drugs. Every school has bullies. Every school has bad influences. I see jr high as being a period of growth, experimentation, and life lessons.

Last edited by statler&waldorf; 01-18-2013 at 05:55 PM.. Reason: ...
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Old 01-18-2013, 07:02 AM   #3
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Asian parents never see the other side of this. They only see that you have to go to a good school and do well. Anything less is not acceptable. Same situation with me with the GATE program in elementary through AP classes in high school. To me, middle school was easy. High school is where it counts. Middle school was a time to figure out what kind of person you are going to be. Unless you're trying to get into a prestigious high school, a good middle school isn't really all that important imo. You can still receive a good education in honors classes and as long as you are smart about the people you hang out with and not fall into the wrong crowd then you're golden. There's no need to be scared. Look at it as a new opportunity. I moved after middle school and went to a high school where I knew no one and I went to college where I only knew 2 other people. Make new friends and keep in touch with your old ones.
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Old 01-18-2013, 07:15 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aznartist34 View Post
Asian parents never see the other side of this. They only see that you have to go to a good school and do well. Anything less is not acceptable.
Exactly my parents. Can't sleep...
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Old 01-18-2013, 01:31 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aznartist34 View Post
Asian parents never see the other side of this. They only see that you have to go to a good school and do well. Anything less is not acceptable.
Do well? May as well fail then. Have to be the best. Anything less is failure.
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Old 01-18-2013, 09:30 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by aznartist34 View Post
Asian parents never see the other side of this. They only see that you have to go to a good school and do well. Anything less is not acceptable.
I've known many kids, particular Asian kids, the parent nagging is often worse than a physical beating any day.
At least those wounds will heal

I'm kidding, sort of.

I'd prefer the beating when I was at that age.
Got some of those too.

Here's the deal: Friends and social life in middle school is well, Hell. It's very important to you now. Lots of bullies, yea, they claim it's better today, but bullies are sneaky.

So would you rather have nerdy kids who are serious about school, or the thugs at the other school? You lose your friends, but.....you get a brand NEW chance and social status. No knows you, which is actually pretty good in many ways. You'll become friends with plenty of them, fear not.

One door closes, another opens. I was 14 when the folks decided to go to Mexico for a year. I'd been learning French for a year prior, but they changed the last minute. Lost every friend, could not speak Spanish, food was strange, school was intense.

Sucked for about 2 months and then it went from the worse, to the best place and time I had before graduating high school. Also had the best grades.
The best friends later also.

Middle School is social hell, I say go to the best school.
Look at it this way, there are things you want FROM YOUR PARENTS.
So, if you give them what they want academically, then they will get bragging rights(huge factor for them), and you did your part of the deal, so can I have a nice car for the 16th b day? New ipad? New ADA aquarium?

Look, this path will NOT hurt you, it will give you awesome creds for $$$ and jobs later, good schools etc, and the folks will give you everything you want on the side. Sports? As long as you have good grades, most parents will do ANYTHING you want that's not actually lethal or dangerous.

Also, give your folks a break, they still think of you as their baby.They cannot help it. Time flies for them, not for you. You are changing FAST, they are slow and do not change fast, so there's a time warp factor. It is VERY hard for them to understand you as you develop independence.

I say make a deal, "I'll go to the new school, but...........if I do well academically, can I have a new aquarium? Pluuuueeessseeee??"

You will survive.

Do not feel bad, I know college age and even college BS graduates who still get nagged by their folks to become a Doctor or a Dentist etc. 25 years old, still getting nagged. Mostly Asian? You bet.
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Old 01-18-2013, 09:54 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by plantbrain View Post
I've known many kids, particular Asian kids, the parent nagging is often worse than a physical beating any day.
At least those wounds will heal

I'm kidding, sort of.

I'd prefer the beating when I was at that age.
Got some of those too.

Here's the deal: Friends and social life in middle school is well, Hell. It's very important to you now. Lots of bullies, yea, they claim it's better today, but bullies are sneaky.

So would you rather have nerdy kids who are serious about school, or the thugs at the other school? You lose your friends, but.....you get a brand NEW chance and social status. No knows you, which is actually pretty good in many ways. You'll become friends with plenty of them, fear not.

One door closes, another opens. I was 14 when the folks decided to go to Mexico for a year. I'd been learning French for a year prior, but they changed the last minute. Lost every friend, could not speak Spanish, food was strange, school was intense.

Sucked for about 2 months and then it went from the worse, to the best place and time I had before graduating high school. Also had the best grades.
The best friends later also.

Middle School is social hell, I say go to the best school.
Look at it this way, there are things you want FROM YOUR PARENTS.
So, if you give them what they want academically, then they will get bragging rights(huge factor for them), and you did your part of the deal, so can I have a nice car for the 16th b day? New ipad? New ADA aquarium?

Look, this path will NOT hurt you, it will give you awesome creds for $$$ and jobs later, good schools etc, and the folks will give you everything you want on the side. Sports? As long as you have good grades, most parents will do ANYTHING you want that's not actually lethal or dangerous.

Also, give your folks a break, they still think of you as their baby.They cannot help it. Time flies for them, not for you. You are changing FAST, they are slow and do not change fast, so there's a time warp factor. It is VERY hard for them to understand you as you develop independence.

I say make a deal, "I'll go to the new school, but...........if I do well academically, can I have a new aquarium? Pluuuueeessseeee??"

You will survive.

Do not feel bad, I know college age and even college BS graduates who still get nagged by their folks to become a Doctor or a Dentist etc. 25 years old, still getting nagged. Mostly Asian? You bet.

time warp factor is huge
im young, i can freshly remember my teen years wishing my life was better and yada yada
im a parent now and i can' begin to understand how fast my son made it to 6 years old, much less in 2 months my daughter will be 4.. 2 months will seem like 2 days

yes i push my son HARD, my daughter HARD
i want them to succeed in life and not have my same failings. its what any good parent would want for their children. as many have said. use this to your advantage. it can only get better from here.

JR HIGH, you will meet most of your lifelong friends here. its a great opportunity.
Also remember, who you surround yourself with will determine your outcomes in life. and the next 4 years will pretty much control the person you will become for the rest of your life..

make smart informed decisions
this from someone who always did not, and was perfectly capable of following his dreams and flying.. now i just work at a car dealership
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Old 01-18-2013, 01:54 PM   #8
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Hang on you're scared of a challenge and willing to accept a lower education so that you dont feel like you're doing more work than your friends




Here's some life tips for you from one of us old fogey's

1. There is nothing to be scared of with new experiences. It's how you become more than what you are today. Things will settle into place after 1 week.

2. Anything worth having in life requires work. The more you put in, the more you get out.

3. Do not get hung up on letter grades. Today's testing system in schools is of little real world value and focuses on memorizing facts over truly understanding a subject. Do your best to understand the subject on all levels and the test will come easy or should not matter.

Letter grades are not a measure of how successful you will be in life. Your drive to work hard and try new things is what will get you somewhere in life. Dont start down the "easy path" now or you'll never turn off of it.

The hard work in your life is just getting started. It only gets harder and more of it the older you get.



oh, and having said all that I am not a fan of the public school systems on any level, regular, advanced or magnet. They are too busy teaching you what to think instead of HOW to think. QUESTION EVERYTHING.

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Old 01-18-2013, 02:13 PM   #9
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Great thoughts by Rbarn!

I understand at your age it's hard to understand life is a journey not a destination. I also understand the most important thing in your world is fitting in and popularity rank.

People come in and out in our lives. That's not good or bad, it just is. Make the most of where you are today as it prepares you for were you will be tomorrow. The worst thing in life I think is regretting a missed opportunely. Don't allow fear to prevent you form enjoying life.
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Old 01-18-2013, 02:42 PM   #10
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Rbarn nailed it
from someone who's entire life was revolved around working hard (my parents teachings)
i can tell you working hard, and learning how to learn rather than just memorizing will take ur further in life
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Old 01-18-2013, 03:12 PM   #11
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You are going to one of the best schools for that grade level in the state. It's a lot of pressure, sure, but life won't get any easier for you. Study hard, take the initiative and make the best with what you are given. If you are not scared of failing, you can never truly appreciate when you do succeed.
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Old 01-18-2013, 03:19 PM   #12
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My only regret, is that some fifty year's ago,, that I did not apply myself a little more diligently at school.
It was the 70's and being a hippe was at the time ,more interesting/fun.
You WILL thank your parent's one day for wanting what's best for you or,,,you will stuggle with the masses just trying to get by.
trust me,, just getting by ain't pleasant. Is tough and only gonna get tougher.
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Old 01-18-2013, 04:33 PM   #13
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I don't know anything about california schools, but if they're anything like where I grew up in PA. The best, most expensive schools always had the worst drugs problems. Sure, the administrators never think so (guess who the parents listen to), but they don't see the kids after school.

I started off going to private school and got scholarships to the private high schools, but only through copious amounts of begging I went to a public high school. The private schools had far worse drug problems then any public school in the area. The difference is usually in the types of drugs, instead of alcohol and pot, they did cocaine and heroin.

Sorry, that stuff always gets me ranting, as people who haven't seen it first hand just assume it doesn't happen in the "good" schools.

Anyway, like everyone's saying, just keep your head down and do your work. If you can get into the school, you can succeed there. You just got to work at it, I'm sure you'll be fine. From personal experience I can tell you that public school to me was far too easy. It actually hurt me in college, it took me a couple semesters to get myself back into actually doing real work and succeeding. You'll be better off in the long run to work hard now, it'll stick with you the rest of your life, and it's worth it.
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Old 01-18-2013, 05:00 PM   #14
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In life it's all about the mindset and you are getting a great chance to learn the proper mindset. Tackle whatever challenge is put in front of you.
When you become known as the guy that will take any challenge you will see how rare a quality that is.
You're not always going to have the choice of being an also ran or taking the easy way out. The world is becoming a far more competitive place. That's good in a way. Don't stress so much over results. Know that you went after it with everything you have and you will never have a regret. We're rarely offered a second chance in life, make the best of the first chance
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Old 01-18-2013, 05:51 PM   #15
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Thing to remember is after you get out of school your education really begins.
Do you have any idea what you want to do after school?
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