Awesome advice in here. My wife gets a little upset over my hobbies at times and I've been crappy about hers, but we are open and discuss it and we are both very happy with the outcome. I always ask my wife when setting up or rescaping a tank. I show her pics of other tanks and fish and let her choose. With my wife its more about making sure she is included with hobbies as opposed to excluded. I also know when she wants something done by a certain time it needs to be done.
That being said, have you included her in the plans for the tank in the laundry room? Show her pics of scapes and fish. I had to put my shrimp tank in the closet