Thanks for the fancy tecno-babble.
It was an interesting read. I've never studied anything relating to fluid mechanics before, but alot of the properties your stating are things I had assumed from basic science, but have not yet been able to produce. I've been looking for a container of some sort to design one more like your describing, but I don't think I'm going to find anything like that just sitting in a store somewhere. I'm pretty sure it's something that will have be created for this specific purpose, from scratch, by someone willing to put in more thought/design than most of the companies in this small market want to invest. Even if they did, I'm not sure I would be willing to pay the price they would demand for their investment. Luckily for us financially challenged people there is always a cheap knockoff company waiting to steal designs and sell on ebay for $5. Until that day comes we have Hoppy's design for the best/quickest, and some other easy ones to get by with.
You're an engineer, why don't you give it a shot at something professionally designed to sell?