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Topic Review (Newest First)
01-07-2013 03:57 PM
scapegoat gotta be honest, if my wife told me i could only put a tank in the laundry room I'd have laughed in her face, said, "oooook", and promptly turned it into a fish room. It's already got easy access to water and drainage.

that being said, i have been relegated to the basement, had a 55 and 20. which sucks enough since it wasnt really finished and i didnt enjoy being down there. we're in the midst of renovating the basement now and i've wiggled my way up to a 125g. we'll be down there all the time with a kid's play area, tv/entertainment area, and lounge area where the tank will be going.

glad to hear you and your wife came to an agreement. I'd personally still be trying for the living room. what sort of filtration are you doing and why is it loud? promise your wife that you'll make it quiet and that it'll impress guests and then she can take credit for it.
01-07-2013 03:27 AM
DogFish
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim_PA View Post
...That will just bring to many questions into wife mind why do we have to have 3 tanks so and so on. She understand the point of having 1 Q-Tank, and she agrees with that.
EXACTLY!!! Last thing you need is waving RED FLAGS Definitely, keep it low key, neat, clean, understated. I believe it might still be $1 per gallon at PetCos? Maybe the 20L is the wisest choice?

That whole in-law thing, sometimes we have to take one for the team
Good thing is you get double bonus points for the effort.
01-07-2013 02:38 AM
The Dude Awesome advice in here. My wife gets a little upset over my hobbies at times and I've been crappy about hers, but we are open and discuss it and we are both very happy with the outcome. I always ask my wife when setting up or rescaping a tank. I show her pics of other tanks and fish and let her choose. With my wife its more about making sure she is included with hobbies as opposed to excluded. I also know when she wants something done by a certain time it needs to be done.
That being said, have you included her in the plans for the tank in the laundry room? Show her pics of scapes and fish. I had to put my shrimp tank in the closet
01-07-2013 02:23 AM
Jim_PA
Quote:
Originally Posted by DogFish View Post
Oh I do very, very much understand.

The reason why I suggest keeping the Q-Tank, simple-low co$t is NOT be cause you can't afford it. By keeping it simple-low co$t you are making a statement that you are not going hobby-crazy and will be keeping your hobby in perspective in terms of time/effort in relationship to the family.

I think I have commented on one of your prior threads. Do your maintenance when your wife is out, shopping, errands, work, whatever. That way the hobby is not getting in the way of family/wifey time. Or, have a weekly maintenance time scheduled so she can make plans for the family that don't result in time conflicts.
Or when the mother-in-law is over for the day? Like today I worked under the house.

Makes sense and very good idea what your saying about the Q-Tank and keeping it low cost. I think I am just going to go with the 40 B or the 20 L, just need to decide which, but not going with 2. That will just bring to many questions into wife mind why do we have to have 3 tanks so and so on. She understand the point of having 1 Q-Tank, and she agrees with that.
01-07-2013 01:54 AM
DogFish
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim_PA View Post
Money is not what caused any of the problems with wife wanting me to get rid of 125. It was the fact that was in the living room, and she does not like it in the living room, says it to loud of if wants to have company over I am always messing around with it. Laundry room still option for QT tank, but your right, I should not go crazy with that, just happy I can bring the 125 back in. The idea of the stand for 20 is not a bad idea at all.
....
Oh I do very, very much understand.

The reason why I suggest keeping the Q-Tank, simple-low co$t is NOT be cause you can't afford it. By keeping it simple-low co$t you are making a statement that you are not going hobby-crazy and will be keeping your hobby in perspective in terms of time/effort in relationship to the family.

I think I have commented on one of your prior threads. Do your maintenance when your wife is out, shopping, errands, work, whatever. That way the hobby is not getting in the way of family/wifey time. Or, have a weekly maintenance time scheduled so she can make plans for the family that don't result in time conflicts.
01-06-2013 10:38 PM
Jim_PA Spent the afternoon pulling braces out from under the house and moved them to new location, just about done.

Have to go out of town for work this week so not much will take place for getting the tank back in the house.
01-06-2013 04:59 PM
Jim_PA
Quote:
Originally Posted by DogFish View Post
Jim - Glad you worked out. Being a veteran of 32 yrs. of domestic compromises I'd offer that you want to tread very lightly on that whole laundry room idea. I'd suggest a metal stand ( I like the PetCo "Brooklyn") a 20L on top a 10 underneath. Find a few plastic storage boxes at the $1 store. I 'd suggest you don't push the footprint of laundry space to hard. I'd also be clear what a Q-Tank is for i.e.. temp holding of fish/plants. That said don't debate from the plan.

While you reached an acceptable compromise (Great) you don't want your wife to feel she made a mistake. Some times the best compromises are not 50-50%. The goal is to have your wife embrace the hobby.

Glad this worked out for you.
Money is not what caused any of the problems with wife wanting me to get rid of 125. It was the fact that was in the living room, and she does not like it in the living room, says it to loud of if wants to have company over I am always messing around with it. Laundry room still option for QT tank, but your right, I should not go crazy with that, just happy I can bring the 125 back in. The idea of the stand for 20 is not a bad idea at all.

Thanks as well to everyone else.
01-06-2013 03:25 PM
DogFish Jim - Glad you worked out. Being a veteran of 32 yrs. of domestic compromises I'd offer that you want to tread very lightly on that whole laundry room idea. I'd suggest a metal stand ( I like the PetCo "Brooklyn") a 20L on top a 10 underneath. Find a few plastic storage boxes at the $1 store. I 'd suggest you don't push the footprint of laundry space to hard. I'd also be clear what a Q-Tank is for i.e.. temp holding of fish/plants. That said don't debate from the plan.

While you reached an acceptable compromise (Great) you don't want your wife to feel she made a mistake. Some times the best compromises are not 50-50%. The goal is to have your wife embrace the hobby.

Glad this worked out for you.
01-06-2013 03:41 AM
OVT +1 for DogFish.... open communication is the key.

That aside, there are a number of practical details that bother me in the whole thing: first 125g was gone but now it's back plus 1-2 new tanks - that just not jives with me as I know what it can cost to set up even a small tank... Therefore, either the cost is not the primary issue at hand or it was all about the tank location/upkeep or there is something else is going on. My recommendation is figure that out first before going much farther.

Laundry room: maybe yours is the size of my house. Otherwise, close proximity to detergent, bleach, vapor, fumes, ease of enjoyment, etc seems to me to be another recipe for more unpleasant marital discussions. (Yes, I do have a tank in the master bathroom).

As far as the 125 goes, there are tons of what you can do with it. And both of us know that. If you really wanted to, you can make an amazing scape with just 2-3 types of Java Fern. You can make it into a rock tank with African Cichlids, or bare bottom Discus breeding tank, +1,000s of other things.

Maybe ask your wife what SHE would want it to look like. My wife could care less about my hobbies, but she still does have a 50% say.

If you need plants, we can take it in PM.
Best of luck.
01-06-2013 03:15 AM
driftwoodhunter I'm glad you have been able to compromise. As a woman in this hobby, I cringe every time I see a "my wife put her foot down here" post. Dogfish said just about everything I was thinking.

As to what to have in the laundry room, if they are going to be QT tanks, holding tanks etc., I'd go with two 20s. The reason being, if you have to medicate a batch of fish you bring in, it's much cheaper to dose a 20g than a 40g. Ten gallon tanks are just far to small for QT tanks, I feel.
01-06-2013 03:06 AM
Jim_PA now to decide what to do with tanks for laundry room. ha maybe 2 20s?
01-05-2013 10:05 PM
zoragen whew.

Maybe we should send you to Washington to teach them about compromise

I'll enjoy seeing the new tank take shape!
01-05-2013 09:14 PM
dastowers I am VERY glad she "got it". And if you want some of my plants you are welcome to them.
01-05-2013 08:32 PM
HD Blazingwolf Congratulations!
01-05-2013 08:17 PM
Jim_PA well....
had a heart to heart chat with wife. not going to get into details, but I think we found middle ground.

I will bring the 125 back in and start over with it, but not in the living room. What that other room will be I am not sure yet. Maybe entrance to house or bedroom. That we have not decided, but somewhere it will be in the house, the main reason she does not want it in the living room is because that where we like to entertain and does not want to make that room have the tank.

Also going to setup tank still in the laundry room as q tank. So with that being said should I still go with 40B or should I get 2 20s?

I want to thank everyone for the advise as it made me really think about the situation and how unfair it is. So I think we have found middle ground. I will need to get all new plants which sucks, mostly starting over, but I will make it work with low tech lights.
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