Hear a teen's rant... - The Planted Tank Forum
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 11:52 AM Thread Starter
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Angry Hear a teen's rant...

Ughh I am super annoyed right now. Being a 17 yo teen, no adults would really listen and heed your advice.

My dad has been keeping fishes even before I was born. Naturally, he influenced me and I began keeping fishes ever since I was 8. As I grew older to become a teen now, I was constantly fascinated by aquariums and wanted to know more about them. So there I was frequenting the libraries, articles and forums about aquaria care, learning more and more about the science behind them each day.

With each knowledge gained, I realised that the ways we had been keeping aquariums were horribly wrong (we didn't cycle the aquarium, put incompatible or too large fish in there etc). However, my dad would not accept any of my explanations...

Recently, I was setting up a nano tank (4 gallons) for my dad due to a lack of space. He did not really understand the importance of a light source and plants in a closed system, thus we had a squabble there. Yesterday, I traveled to a local LFS to get the lightings and met my dad there coincidentally. He wanted to buy a flowerhorn cichlid to put into nano! Luckily, I was there to stop him. I planned to get the plants on Monday, but I did not expect my dad to come home today with 3 mid-sized angelfish. I was shocked, and angry at the same time as he did not wait for me to establish the nano. Moreover, 3 angels in a 4 gallon? Wow. I didn't bother to explain, knowing that he would not listen.

This was not the first time. Every time I tried to correct him, he would always reply "In the past I did it the same way, and nothing bad happened.", "You read too much", "Don't listen to the online crap...". Furthermore, my mom would stop me to explain more as my dad has a heart condition, afraid that we would have an argument that would infuriate him.

Most LFS in my country are profit driven and don't even know the proper aquarium world of knowledge. I witnessed many children with their parents cajoled by the store assistant into purchasing fish that are incompatible with their aquariums (most of the time are nano plastic tanks). I tried offering advice once, but they would just go "Oh, I see.." and nevertheless continue to follow that EVIL shop assistant. "It's just a kid, how much does he know anyway", they would think.

If only adults would listen to me for once ...
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 12:04 PM
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In about 15 years people might start listening to you. Just quietly do a lot of awesome stuff till then.
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 12:08 PM Thread Starter
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Haha yeah, just have to wait it out. I'm feeling sorry for all the innocent critters in the LFS Hope that the children would not lose interest in this hobby despite failures (most of the time).
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 12:24 PM
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Well, you're off to a good start! I just started this hobby 6 months ago at 25. I wish I had started younger so I could have had a nano in my dorm, and more knowledge by now. But as someone who has been cooking since he was 13, you gotta get used to it. At a certain age - most people are stuck in their ways. Even if they're wrong, they will still argue it up and down instead of a quick google.

Things will get better, but as another poster said - do awesome things. Make a jaw-dropping nano and show your dad that you know what you're talking about. Just ask if you can start a tank by yourself and blow him out of the water. He should listen then.
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 12:44 PM
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Sorry but unfortunately you have to respect your parents. The poor fish in the meantime though, maybe when something goes wrong they will realise you were right after all. x

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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 12:54 PM Thread Starter
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Oh yeah, I own my very own paludarium haha, its in my signature. But haven't been updating recently :P
Yeah, I agree, when things go wrong then hope they would listen :X
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 12:58 PM
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It's funny you say that. My friend n her boyfriend. Cleaned their 55 gallon... Filled it up with gravel plugged te filter "cycled the fish, but not the water" three days later $200 in fish dead.

I told them... U gotta let the tank set. Nitrates nitrite ammonia ph all gotta balance out..... Haha they sai whaaaa the f" is dat? I felt so bad for the 3 electric blue frontosas and royal pleco... They weren't just shocked they were murdered...glad there are teenagers out there much younger than myself. My friends boyfriend looked at my friend n said ur crazy fish lady friend needs to calm down n stop reading n smokin whatever that is... Haha. :/ there should be a waiver when it comes to purchasing fish...! N den it would
Become a pain in da ass to buy fish..


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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 01:10 PM
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its not so much an adult problem than a hobbyist who is stuck in the old ways. The hobby has evolved and things are not as difficult as they once were but there are various aspects to consider in a setup as you had mentioned. Some people will never learn. its probably best for you to do what you can with your own setups and let people do what they will.

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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 01:44 PM
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I think you should get him a book on fishes and aquariums and maybe that'll change his ways. The hobby has grown a lot since I'm sure your Dad first started and I'm sure it'll grow a lot in 20+ years and who knows, maybe we'll be the ones who are stubborn in our ways? I don't blame your Dad for doing it the way he was taught most likely, but if you get him a book perhaps he'll change his ways.
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 01:46 PM Thread Starter
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Haha I would if only he wanted to read :X
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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 01:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gy960 View Post
..Most LFS in my country are profit driven and don't even know the proper aquarium world of knowledge...
Weird, same thing in U.S.
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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 02:58 PM
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Just make sure when you have kids, you teach them the correct way. I went through the same stuff.
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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 02:59 PM
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Humans hate to be proven wrong.
Find another common interest with your Dad and avoid the fish conversations. Or you might find yourself having to chose between one or the other. A huge price to pay over so little.

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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 03:17 PM
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He is your father. 30 years from now u will still not win. Suck it up and be a son, and remember this when you don't listen to YOUR son when he is right.
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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 03:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OVT View Post
Humans hate to be proven wrong.
Find another common interest with your Dad and avoid the fish conversations. Or you might find yourself having to chose between one or the other. A huge price to pay over so little.

v3
yep, why fight a battle where no one wins?

Put your dad first and your fish second

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75 Main Tank w/ sump: 5 Glossolepis pseudoincisus, 5 Melanotaenia boesemani, 10 Melanotaenia praecox, 5 Melanotaenia lacustris, some cories, a bn pleco and rainbow fish fry
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