HELP!!!! She said no to 100gal child. (she it was to long) - The Planted Tank Forum
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 05:56 AM Thread Starter
Planted Tank Obsessed
 
familyman03's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bakersfield, CA
Posts: 310
Lightbulb HELP!!!! She said no to 100gal child. (she it was to long)

I am getting my old 100 gallon tank back from my brother and my wife says i can't set it up. what are some sell point or advice wether stupid, insane, unsure, etc.... I would really love to have this tank but if she continues to say no I am going to cut it in half and make it a two and half foot fifty gallon.

heeeeeeellllllllllpppppp please
jason
familyman03 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 05:58 AM
Planted Tank Guru
 
xmas_one's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 3,337
4x2x2...120 gallon..
xmas_one is offline  
post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 06:56 AM
Planted Tank Guru
 
OverStocked's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: SoDak
Posts: 10,732
Can't cut it, as I've pointed out already in your other thread.

Have you had a rational discussion as to WHY she doesn't want you to set it up? Is it about money? Space? time?

If it is about space, have you considered other spots to put the tank? Basement? Extra room, garage?

If about money, show her it can be done economically. Use a diy sump as filter or sunsun filters like I use, and cheaper lights like I use. Use sand or gravel instead of an expensive substrate, and purchase things over several months. Make SACRIFICES in other areas to show you're serious. I literally add aquariums to my budget without ADDING a cent to overall expense. That means I cut corners on some things to get there...

You know your wife. You know whether this is a futile effort or if you will be able to "get what you want". If your marriage is about lying, deceiving, and fighting to get what you want, I suggest you spend less time trying to get this tank in your house and more time looking for a marriage counselor. I don't think I'd ever tolerate a relationship that either of us had any absolute say on anything. My wife and I are a team and believe that if it is something the other person wants it at least merits a discussion.

If she has a valid reason and you're just not seeing it, talking about it is the best solution. If she is just saying no to say no, well... you married her... you deal with it!
OverStocked is offline  
post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 10:57 AM
Planted Tank Obsessed
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: CO
Posts: 414
Ask her for the specific reason and then counter those reasons with your plan. If its money, make a budget and show how it can be done for cheap. If its space, explain and show how tanks can become a centerpiece decoration in a living room. If she is saying no, to say no then you'll have to deal with that.
Postal Penguin is offline  
post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 11:28 AM
Planted Tank Guru
 
Craigthor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dubuque, IA
Posts: 9,628
Quote:
Originally Posted by over_stocked View Post
Can't cut it, as I've pointed out already in your other thread.

Have you had a rational discussion as to WHY she doesn't want you to set it up? Is it about money? Space? time?

If it is about space, have you considered other spots to put the tank? Basement? Extra room, garage?

If about money, show her it can be done economically. Use a diy sump as filter or sunsun filters like I use, and cheaper lights like I use. Use sand or gravel instead of an expensive substrate, and purchase things over several months. Make SACRIFICES in other areas to show you're serious. I literally add aquariums to my budget without ADDING a cent to overall expense. That means I cut corners on some things to get there...

You know your wife. You know whether this is a futile effort or if you will be able to "get what you want". If your marriage is about lying, deceiving, and fighting to get what you want, I suggest you spend less time trying to get this tank in your house and more time looking for a marriage counselor. I don't think I'd ever tolerate a relationship that either of us had any absolute say on anything. My wife and I are a team and believe that if it is something the other person wants it at least merits a discussion.

If she has a valid reason and you're just not seeing it, talking about it is the best solution. If she is just saying no to say no, well... you married her... you deal with it!
That or jsut set it up while she is out for a girls night out and act like it was always there. Just remember it is easier to ask forgiveness then to ask permission, note this doesn't work on all wives mine included but if you want other ideas there is my 2 cents.

Craig

Rebooting...

Quote:
Originally Posted by cdwill View Post
"C'mon, they're just plants, man, no big deal -- try some"
Craigthor is offline  
post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 11:57 AM
Wannabe Guru
 
jinx©'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 1,545
Tell her if she allows you to set it up that she can one day bury you in it.<shrugs>

jinx© is offline  
post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 12:03 PM
Planted Tank Obsessed
 
sajata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Chester Springs, PA
Posts: 305
how many of the respondents are married?

familyman03, i suggest you take up nano tanks in your office at work...

sajata is offline  
post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 12:49 PM
Planted Tank Obsessed
 
Chasintrades's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: nyc
Posts: 300
its either the fish or the kids.... either way you are swimming with the sharks.
Chasintrades is offline  
post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 01:08 PM
F22
Planted Tank Guru
 
F22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: .201.
Posts: 4,349
Make a trade, tell her if you can have the tank you will take her to one of those home and garden shows.

Haha
F22 is offline  
post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 02:20 PM
Planted Tank Guru
 
OverStocked's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: SoDak
Posts: 10,732
Quote:
Originally Posted by F22 View Post
Make a trade, tell her if you can have the tank you will take her to one of those home and garden shows.

Haha
The words of a not yet married man. Take not e quick! To get something big, you have to give something BIGGER.

Going to those home and garden shows is more likely going to be something she could care less about... Most of them are oriented towards guys now.
OverStocked is offline  
post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 02:26 PM
Wannabe Guru
 
hbosman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Leesburg Virginia
Posts: 1,669
You might be able to convince her that a bought and paid for 100 gallon is better than spending the cost of a 120 gallon. Especially... if you pretend that you would rather have the 120. :-)
hbosman is online now  
post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 02:40 PM
Planted Tank Guru
 
Kathyy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Newbury Park, CA
Posts: 4,182
My 100 gallon five foot long tank sits on one short wall of the living room with the fireplace opposite. It is centered with house plants at either end. The floor is tile. There is a faucet and door handy for water changes. NOW it is very quiet with electronic ballasts and the sump is cooperating at the moment. The lights are shielded so there isn't a glare and are on when we need light in the room.

I live in a tiny house and didn't put up a tank for 15 years. A family member loaned us a piano and I found room for that so when the piano went back I got a fish tank the same size as that piano!

Unless I had a tile floor on a slab foundation and can place the tank so it is integrated into the room I would not want a tank this large. If I had rambunctious kids throwing things and jumping over furniture I would probably not want to deal with a tank anywhere near a traffic area. Unless I could buy bits over time and have storage for those bits I wouldn't want to start a project this big. I needed to add an outlets for my lights, be sure you have enough capacity!

I wouldn't set it up on the sly but why not put it in storage and start collecting bits on the cheap? Mineralized top soil stores well and costs a couple bucks, right? Craig's List for filters, lights, the all important water change gear and decor. None of those are big tank dedicated, well maybe the lights. Draw little pictures of how you are putting the tank in the room. Plan your plantings and fish list. Wait and be patient. Me nagging that I NEEDED the freezer for dog food got me a stone wall. Me waiting worked, got my freezer for my birthday a year ago. Okay it took a year but I got it!
Kathyy is offline  
post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 02:49 PM
Planted Tank Guru
 
xmas_one's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 3,337
Here's a true story, I hope it inspires you...

An Icelandic fishing captain, known as "the Iceman" for his tough character, grabbed a 300 kg shark with his bare hands as it swam in shallow water towards his crew, a witness said today.

The skipper of the trawler "Erik the Red" was on a beach in Kuummiit, east Greenland, watching his crew processing a catch when he saw the shark swimming towards the fish blood and guts - and his men.

Captain Sigurdur Petursson, known to locals as "the Iceman", ran into the shallow water and grabbed the shark by its tail. He dragged it off to dry land and killed it with his knife.

"He caught it just with his hands. There was a lot of blood in the sea and the shark came in and he thought it was dangerous," Frede Kilime, a hunter and fisherman who watched from the beach, told Reuters by phone from Greenland.

Icelandic author and journalist Reynir Traustason, who knows the trawler captain, said the act was typical of the man.


"He's called 'the Iceman' because he isn't scared of anything," he said. "I know the people in that part of the world. They are really tough."
xmas_one is offline  
post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 03:00 PM
Planted Tank Guru
 
Noahma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Thornton, Colorado
Posts: 4,276
I agree with the other married folks in here. I would not try to pull a fast one on her and set it up, as a couple others suggested lol. Ask for her exact reasoning, and maybe do a mock setup. These tanks usually look bigger when they are not in the environment they intend to stay in. Cutting the tank is going to be disastrous. The bottom of that size of a tank is Tempered, which will end with the bottom shattering into a million little cubes when cut. And tempered glass is quite a bit more expensive than non tempered glass. You might be able to sell that tank and replace it with a couple smaller ones.
Noahma is online now  
post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2010, 03:04 PM
Wannabe Guru
 
jmhart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Atlanta,GA
Posts: 1,635
I agree with everything O_S said.
jmhart is offline  
Reply

Tags
advice, fish, gravel, tank, wife

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Planted Tank Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome