The betta is definitely a male. I can tell by what fins he has left, and there is no oviposter (egg tube). What I have seen in my own tanks with that particular betta coloration is that the red is fin regrowth. The fins grow in clear first, and then to red, and then usually back to it's original color. Just give him some time to come around. Sounds like he was in some pretty disgusting water for along time.
Sounds like the "little sucker fish" that you have are otocinclus (or however it's spelled)--or otos for short.
Oh, and happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Eheim Pimpette #230
Google is the remedy for stupidity.
It's not the size of the tank, but how you use it. 
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