[censored]Are you having a bad day?
As I recall he only used straight trim bits. My experience with laminating formica is that the straight bits work great for that.
Any spray can paint, as long as it isn't shellac based, is water resistant. We don't need epoxy paint for the very limited amount of water splashing we run into, so that lets us use just about anything else. But, you can get epoxy paint in spray cans too.