You are ridiculous. I have to admit that gave me a bit of a wheezing belly-larf for a minute. Heh heh!
Not sure I would go with Persicaria. They get large and grow the crap out of you. Lancea would be good. Some Ammania latifolia would be nice! If you could only find someone who has it, though......I do, but after that earlier demonstration of artwork, you can forget it.