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Excuse me I have a question...

3K views 41 replies 24 participants last post by  Tex Gal 
#1 ·
Ok, I know its said that there is no such thing as a stupid question but I beg to differ...
I worked in retail for years...I worked in 3 aquarium stores and managed one of them...I also worked in a hunting and fishing store going through grad school. I also worked at Campmor selling outdoor gear which is where my all time most moronic question came from.
I sold canoes, kayaks, tents and sleeping bags. One day shortly after September 11 while working tents I was asked if any of the tents we sold would withstand a chemical/biological attack? This guy was totally serious too...I didn't even know where to begin, I couldn't help cracking up as I explained to this guy that there was no way in hell that any tent would do that. I turns out that instead of ducktaping his windows with plastic he was going to pitch a tent in his living room...to this day I still laugh.
Soooooo....
what is the most stupid question you have ever been asked?
 
#3 ·
I worked a lot of retail in my day, LFS in high school, Gander Mtn. in college, and I a managed a fly fishing store for a few years. I wish I could remember all of the stupid questions. But two of the best were:
A guy came in looking at our fishing vests, he asked "are these flame retardant?" I asked why? He said "I am a smoker and I dont want my clothes to catch on fire"

For you fly fishermen out there this one ranks up there,
Guy came in, going on a bonefish trip in the bahamas, wanted a fly reel but didnt want to spend the dough on a good one. He pointed to a click and pawl fly reel designed for trout and bluegill (no drag) and asked "Can i use this for bonefish?" my employee said deadpan "if you buy running shoes" the guy replied "what kind should i get?"....
 
#4 ·
My dad worked for an European railway company, and once there was an elderly lady who was taking the train for the first time in her life and was concerned about safety. She asked my dad which car in a train was the least safe, and he told her that the last car is generally considered the least safe. She gave this some thought and then asked: "So, why don't you just detach the last car?"
 
#5 ·
We stopped at a Burger King. Back then I was a vegetarian. We ordered 1 regular Whopper and 1 meatless cheese Whopper. We explained that the meatless cheese Whopper was just a regular Whopper minus the meat = just leave the meat off. He asked back, "Which one shall I leave the meat off of?" We replied, "The left one."
 
#8 ·
The dumbest question I've heard countless times (considering that I'm a graduate student in philosophy): "Philosophy? That's the same thing as psychology, right?"
My answer (the one I think, and of course never say): Yes, they sound the same, so they must be the same. Actually, philosophy is even more like philology.
 
#10 ·
Oh man, I am so telling that one to my philosophy prof :hihi:

Not really a question I was asked, but one day at my work at a LFS, I was doing something in the Ball Python's cage for some reason. A lady walked in and asked what the snake was and I told her. She then said "Oh, be careful! They have poisonous tails!"

I must have given her a weird look because she turned around and left right after that.
 
#9 ·
Oh, and while we're at it, my favorite answer.

Back story: When teaching a class on epistemology (which is actually much like the field of herpetology) and metaphysics (which is about magnets, precious gems, and 'cleansing'), I offered an extra credit assignment to my students about online chat-bots and the Touring Test... During my own testing of chat-bots for intelligence... issues in philosophy of mind, problem of other minds, etc., an absolutely priceless Q&A exchange occurred:

My question: "What did you do yesterday?"
AI response: "I don't do yesterdays."

Priceless.
 
#11 ·
I had a sales agent at a subdivision ask me why all the flags that I installed in front of the model home were flying in the same direction. She wanted half to point to the left and the other half to point right. When I told her I had no control over the wind she got huffy and left.
 
#13 ·
I work at a retail Garden Center. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the times I have had customers - in all seriousness - ask me: "I have this shrub at my house, the leaves are green and it has red* flowers, can you tell me what it is?"

As if on this huge planet there's only one plant w/ green leaves and red flowers!!! I now usually just look at them for a few seconds, then say, "Come on, green leaves? You really need to give me a few more clues than that!"

After the first few times I thought there are just a few stupid people. Now having heard it more than a dozen times, I realize quite a few people walk around pretty oblivious to their surroundings and the emense diversity in the natural world. Sad, really, how disconnected they can be.

(*Sometimes it's pink flowers, or purple flowers. Sometimes it's my neighbor has this plant w/ green leaves and ____ flowers. What is it? )
 
#16 ·
I work in a prison kitchen as a correctional food service coordinator. Years ago I had a new inmate , first day in the kitchen, ask me where we kept our left handed spatulas. He was completely serious, and I looked around to see some snickering "seasoned" inmates turning red and on the verge of tears.

That was just one of many stupid questions over the years.

Were I work now we also feed a group of "troubled" youths. One of the young men took his plate and asked " How are you supposed to eat this? Do you like, mix it up or something?" Without missing a beat, my co worker blurted out, " It's SALAD!" and gave the kid such a funny look I had to excuse myself for a moment.
 
#17 ·
Not exactly a stupid saying or anything but about two weeks ago, I ordered an Onion Swiss burger (or something to that effect) with no meat at Jack-In-The-Box and the guy put the entire sandwich together (including the special bread) button by button instead of pressing the "no meat" button. I know they have one of those because I order burgers a lot like this and it says so on the tags. -_-
 
#19 ·
Rod Hay said "I work at a retail Garden Center. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the times I have had customers - in all seriousness - ask me: "I have this shrub at my house, the leaves are green and it has red* flowers, can you tell me what it is?"

As if on this huge planet there's only one plant w/ green leaves and red flowers!!! I now usually just look at them for a few seconds, then say, "Come on, green leaves? You really need to give me a few more clues than that!"

I worked a similar job in during a season I would get at least a couple of requests for "square bushes like everyone else has". The surreal part is I knew exactly what they wanted.
 
#20 ·
I used to work at a recreational steam railroad, and got some really great ones over the phone. At one point, a tour coordinator asked me if there were bears in the mountains. When I assured her that there are, in fact, bears, she wanted to know if they usually attack the train.

The next question was "if we sit in the outside car, won't the mountain lions jump through the windows?"

The other classic around this area is "What altitude/season do the deer turn into elk?"
 
#22 ·
A friend of mine used to wear a red pendant that could kind of looked like those allergy medical pendants people carry around to say they're allergic to this or that medication in case of an emergency.

One day while ordering food at a popeyes this girl asks if the necklace he's wearing is a medical allergy necklace. He say's "no, actually, this is to tell the paramedics that I have a dormant communicable flesh-eating disease that's highly contagious and rots flesh away within a matter of an hour or so." The lady just goes "oh, that's too bad, I have a cousin that has something like that."

And the conversation continued like that in all seriousness until the food got there, I had to turn around because I was ready to burst out laughing.
 
#25 ·
LOL
Ok I was working at the restaurant and one of my customers asked me "How hot is the hot sauce?" he was tottaly serious about it too.
And this one is not really a stupid question but I always get a kick out of this one.
A person comes to a bar and asks me for a virgin screwdriver. To which I always reply "So you want an orange juice?" For some reason I always got dirty looks after I say that LOL

I got more but can't think of any at the moment.
 
#27 ·
That's right up there with people describing movies at the movie rental place. You can usually hear someone asking the clerk something like that. " I'm looking for that movie that has that one guy from that one movie. You know, that one movie where the dude like gets shot and dies at the end. Oh, and he's like bald and stuff."
 
#28 ·
I can understand the "how hot is the hot sauce" question, but that was kind of a bad way to phrase the question...I guess a better way to say it would've been questions about its flavor / kick. But there are too many "hot sauces" in Texas to just say "hot sauce" to begin with so! If it's green you know it's really hot.
 
#29 ·
I can understand the "how hot is the hot sauce" question, but that was kind of a bad way to phrase the question...I guess a better way to say it would've been questions about its flavor / kick. But there are too many "hot sauces" in Texas to just say "hot sauce" to begin with so! If it's green you know it's really hot.
This happened in Toronto Canada in a local bar were there is only one type of hot sauce, well we had mild but that one was served only on wings.
 
#32 ·
The intresting thing that I found out is that they actually can. :icon_eek::)
When a fish is taken out of water, and exposed only to air, not to oxygen and hydrogen containing water, its gills are unable to control the oxygen intake, the delicate balance cannot be maintained, and the gills inhale a lethal overdose of oxygen. The fish essentially experiences death by "drowning."
:biggrin:
 
#37 ·
"People play golf with moss?"

Two years ago a friend asked me that.

I still laugh.

My other favourite one is when teaching sailing...

Me "alright, now move it away from you"
Student pulls the tiller towards them.
Me *this will be a fun hour*

The other day I was at the LFS and someone asked me if I was serious that they should put plants in the tank to help suck out nutrients and ammonia and nitrates... He said he was told to wait after the tank cycled to add plants *FAIL*

-Andrew
 
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