PM etiquette...... - Page 3 - The Planted Tank Forum
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post #31 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 06:28 PM
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Originally Posted by hedge_fund View Post
I generally get a decent amount of PMs where people are asking me random questions about shrimp/plants from things that I've said in past threads. I'll type up a long response trying to help them out (taking time out of my day) and then only about 50% will even have the decency to write back "thank you".

What's wrong with people now a days? It almost makes me want to delete all these random questions without responding. A "thank you" goes a long way.

The other lack of etiquette is when someone doesn't even say "hi" but just shoots off asking a question that will take 6 paragraphs to type up. Example PM: "tell me all the products you use for your shrimp?". That's it...there is no "thanks" no anything. Just the expectation of me to spend 15 minutes typing up my exact routine.

Maybe I am just cranky this morning or maybe I am onto something.....

1. You can ignore them.
2. I often tell them this is not an appropriate PM, ask in the general open forum area. I'm not open access and personalized PM advice for any and everyone.
3. Most common issues are answered very well by several folks in the open forum. Link that.
4. If it's a quick thing, I'll answer, if not, no.
5. I am short with many things on line, but am very different in person. I can only assume many others are as well. While they might say anything, years later many will come up and thank you once they meet you in person for that help way back when that you long forgot, Karma does happen.

6. Do not expect karma to be returned, nor will it be 100% returns for all your efforts, in some cases the 70% return rate will equal 140% the net worth or your efforts, so then the other 30% do not matter.

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post #32 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 06:34 PM
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I think the general attitude problem in this generation is impatience.



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post #33 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 06:38 PM
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Another thing is the OP create a thread asking for help/opinion/advice and simply disappear from that thread.
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post #34 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 07:02 PM
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The Ignore List is pretty useful and I have not hit the limit, yet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by plantbrain View Post
1. You can ignore them.
2. I often tell them this is not an appropriate PM, ask in the general open forum area. I'm not open access and personalized PM advice for any and everyone.
3. Most common issues are answered very well by several folks in the open forum. Link that.
4. If it's a quick thing, I'll answer, if not, no.
5. I am short with many things on line, but am very different in person. I can only assume many others are as well. While they might say anything, years later many will come up and thank you once they meet you in person for that help way back when that you long forgot, Karma does happen.

6. Do not expect karma to be returned, nor will it be 100% returns for all your efforts, in some cases the 70% return rate will equal 140% the net worth or your efforts, so then the other 30% do not matter.

There you go. Problem solved

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post #35 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 07:08 PM
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I don't believe PMs should be used for information gathering regarding tanks and related subjects anyway. That's what the open forums are for. That also allows other people to benefit from the effort put forth by the questioner and those that contribute to the answer.
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post #36 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 07:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soothing Shrimp View Post
*shrugs* I guess I don't seem to have the same peeve everyone else has. I figure if I can be helpful to someone- then great. Glad I could help. If they choose to say thanks, it's appreciated but not mandatory.
I agree, to an extent. And while it's not an excuse, I am sure some people don't realize how they come across in text. I've had PM conversations with people whom I had labeled as "rude" or at least very bad at communication, only to meet them in real life and discover they're they nicest people you could meet, and maybe they just don't understand how to show that in text. Talking in person, your emotions (such as thankfulness) are pretty easily detected even without saying specific words. Typing, you miss all that context. I don't think some people realize the extra effort you have to put in to communicating via text. And hey, I'm not perfect, so I won't hold them to that standard. Live and let live.

That said, the times when this really bug me are when people are being blatantly and obviously rude, while trying to get you to help them. I may not be a recognized guru on this particular forum but I've made tens of thousands of posts on others, and spent considerable time and effort developing and writing about hobby related ideas and concepts in a way that makes them easily understood to newbies. Yet, I've lost count of the number of times I got rude or confrontational PMs from people who felt the help I was offering wasn't sufficient to correct whatever problem they were facing. I've had people toss out veiled insults or even threaten me when I told them I didn't want to do custom work for them (sorry, this is a hobby, not a job!) or call me names when I told them it wasn't possible to diagnose their failed DIY project via the internet. This is the sort of behavior that makes me want to just go back and just erase my online presence.
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post #37 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 08:56 PM
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Good thread. I believe it will help some people wake up & smell the coffee...... although I have found the vast majority of members of this forum in particular, to be most appreciative of any help given them.
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post #38 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 09:34 PM
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Its sad that the world is going to a manners being optional existence, and common courtesy isn't so common. For what its worth though Thank you TPT. This forum has provided me countless hours of enjoyment and entertainment and assistance improving a hobby, neigh sir, an addiction of mine. Rude people go away once ignored so +1 o the ignore list.

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post #39 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 09:43 PM
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PM etiquette......

Manners are not optional IMO. I still open the car door for my wife pull out her chair and hold the door open for others before I enter any dwelling or place of business. The lack of communication skills from any generation is the fault of the parent for not instilling these values in their children. I am 35 and my children say please and thank you and ask before doing anything out of the ordinary. We all just need to kill these people with lack of respect with kindness and let them reap what they sow in their own lives. Mostly because we have more respect for ourselves than to stoop to that level.

Thank you everyone at TPT that takes the time to help out anyone including people with no manners. I love this forum.

Remember this "No matter where You go, There YOU are."

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post #40 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 11:13 PM
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post #41 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 11:27 PM
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That was good and made me remember a few videos I needed to go back and watch.

You don't want to see the videos from VWVortex forums
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post #42 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 11:32 PM
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PM etiquette......

Maybe most of them are kids or young adults and don't know any better.
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post #43 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 11:32 PM
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Unfortunately common courtesy and respect is fading away in today's society.

That is why I always make sure I'm doing the best I can and worry less about what everybody else is doing. I firmly believe in leading by example. And getting angry over how somebody is blindly communicating about a subject is just a waste IMO. If I get a rude or unthankful PM I'll kill em with kindness or just ignore it.

And it very well could be that the subject individuals didn't even consider it to be rude or be interpreted the wrong way and will change their habits accordingly.
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post #44 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-10-2013, 05:16 AM
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Originally Posted by gSTiTcH View Post
I don't believe PMs should be used for information gathering regarding tanks and related subjects anyway. That's what the open forums are for. That also allows other people to benefit from the effort put forth by the questioner and those that contribute to the answer.
Well...Yes & No.

The longer one is on this forum the more obvious it is there are some outstanding specialist here. Sometimes one might want advise from one of the people. Also those questions might not warrant a thread. Not to mention the timeliness of the information requested. Not everyone sees every thread.
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post #45 of 86 (permalink) Old 05-10-2013, 05:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Clemsons2k View Post
Well age and generation does play a role. You are correct in the fact that each subsequent generation has worse and worse communication skills / lack of feeling of personal responsibility.
You realize Plato said exactly the same thing 2000 years ago?

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