Why are men on this forum scared of their wives or girlfriends? - The Planted Tank Forum
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post #1 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 04:45 PM Thread Starter
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Why are men on this forum scared of their wives or girlfriends?

How often do we read a post and it says "my wife or girlfriend does not let me use the kitchen sink or won't let me have another fish tank" blah blah blah. What is wrong with some of you guys? The day my girlfriend says I can't do something is the day that I'm becoming single....and she's very aware of that. Generally when I get into a new relationship I explain all the hobbies that I am into and tell her that they pretty much come with a package deal. So if you want me then you get my hobbies as well. It works both ways...if she's into pottery or yoga then I'll attend a few sessions with you. But under no circumstances will I ever tell a girl that she "cannot" do yoga or a weaving class knowing that she was into these things prior to meeting me. Which is the same reason that your significant other shouldn't tell you what you can and cannot do.

Worst thing you can do in life is try to change someone. I've learned that back in college that it doesn't work. Best way is to get involved with someone who likes everything about you.
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post #2 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 04:48 PM
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I think most of that is more for comedic value.
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post #3 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 04:51 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DogFish View Post
I think most of that is more for comedic value.
Yeah some are but others really mean it. There is a guy in the DIY section who built a whole PVC pipe contraption from the second floor because his wife didn't let him use the kitchen sink for water changes. LOL. I am literally still laughing at the device...it was by far the funniest thread I've ever read on here.

PS. My thread is kind of similar...hopefully it adds some comedic value.
PSS. I wonder how many guys looked over their shoulder prior to clicking into this thread.
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post #4 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 04:58 PM
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Imagine going through all the divorces and battling custody of your kids just because you can't have another tank.

EHEIM #525
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post #5 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 05:14 PM
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i think that maybe some of the times its one of those things where if the wife wasn't saying no, they would end up on hoarders. tanks everywhere, tiny walkways, even a bridge of tanks. hehe i can just see the hoarders crews faces. OMG its so beautiful.....but my god, there must be 12,000 tanks in here.....then out of a planted 250 pops the crazed husband with boesemani rainbow in his mouth!

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post #6 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 05:20 PM
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Why are men on this forum scared of their wives or girlfriends?

Some may be the less dominant part of the relationship.

Some may not pay enough attention to their chores or even their partner because of the tanks so it becomes sort of a nemesis.

Some may have really bad taste in Aquascaping so there is nothing to be proud of for her when visits come. Multiple bad looking tanks? Esthetics.

Some may be spending to much of their budget.

Small apt?

I do a lot of good things for her and vice versa.... you won't believe the things we allow each other to do.


A heavily planted shrimp tank is possible!
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post #7 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 05:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cichnatic View Post
Imagine going through all the divorces and battling custody of your kids just because you can't have another tank.
I'm not a guy, but I can't imagine this, simply because I think kids and family should always come before hobbies... if someone honestly can't make that choice, then I feel they may have bigger issues than breaking up over a tank - especially if they don't recognize it.
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post #8 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 05:35 PM
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Why are men on this forum scared of their wives or girlfriends?

Money is a big aspect of any relationship and is something that should be discussed a lot when the relationship involves marriage, and lets not kid ourselves, a lot of this stuff isn't cheap when you add everything up. I'd be willing to bet that could be the reason for a lot of it.

Another is that women usually have an idea of how they want their house/apt to look and tanks don't always fit nicely into there. Sure 1 can often work but when you have 2-3 it may not as much


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post #9 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 05:42 PM
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I agree on the comedic point there. Even though I don't have a girlfriend or wife, my mom still gets in the way of things. She doesn't like it when I spend too much time doing WC, looking at the shrimp, etc. I guess it's just a loneliness thing. Maybe she thinks it gets in the way of schoolwork. I feel sad for you guys, I'm just not to the point where I can't just beg my mom, get good grades.... And tadaaaaahh. A new tank.

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post #10 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 05:44 PM
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As you get older, you realize 'tis better to pick and choose your fights. I love my hobbies, but my family comes first.

RAOK Club and BBRR Club! My thinking has been invert-ed!
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post #11 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 05:57 PM
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if you already have a wife/family/gf/kids then YES they do come first. but if your hobby/hobbies are that importent to you like it is to me then you should have thought about that before hand... i know that there is no way i could live without doing my passions! and i have a lot of them.

i know that before i get married (or if i do.. haha) the wife is gonna have to deal with my aquarium room, my huge garage filled with cars, i will be buying a boat or 2 and the house will be the way i want it, etc.... call me selfish, but unless she's bringing in the majority of the income she has nothing to say. not saying there will be no comprimise or i won't do anything nice for her, but she's definatilly not gonna tell me what i can and cannot do with my money. PERIOD!
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post #12 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 06:09 PM
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It also counts for something that some things are good in moderation. Like if your gf wanted to turn the whole house into a pottery studio and start hosting classes all day, you might be a little offput. Same goes for her with your fishtanks, a few is great but when it dominates life and home its not so great. Also note that alot of these guys do have fish still- theres a difference in saying "i'd rather not have 10 tanks" and "you have to get rid of your fish, because you love me more then your hobbies right?". Usually they're not trying to change him, just that, not being fish geeks, they'd rather not have the fish start migrating in to every room of the house. It is their house too, after all.
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post #13 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 06:09 PM
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Why are men on this forum scared of their wives or girlfriends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dany08fa View Post
if you already have a wife/family/gf/kids then YES they do come first. but if your hobby/hobbies are that importent to you like it is to me then you should have thought about that before hand... i know that there is no way i could live without doing my passions! and i have a lot of them.

i know that before i get married (or if i do.. haha) the wife is gonna have to deal with my aquarium room, my huge garage filled with cars, i will be buying a boat or 2 and the house will be the way i want it, etc.... call me selfish, but unless she's bringing in the majority of the income she has nothing to say. not saying there will be no comprimise or i won't do anything nice for her, but she's definatilly not gonna tell me what i can and cannot do with my money. PERIOD!
If you're married and still think of money as "mine and hers" vs "yours together" than you're in for a long and difficult road. Marriage and family is about coming together as a unit.

Thinking that since she doesn't bring home a majority of the income means she can't say anything is at the heart of the problem. Again once that ring goes on you're acting as a unit. When you win she also wins, and when you lose she also loses. You're supposed to be on the journey of life together. Not just dealing with another person a lot because you live together.

Just my 2c's


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post #14 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 06:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hedge_fund View Post
The day my girlfriend says I can't do something is the day that I'm becoming single....and she's very aware of that. Generally when I get into a new relationship I explain all the hobbies that I am into and tell her that they pretty much come with a package deal. So if you want me then you get my hobbies as well. It works both ways...if she's into pottery or yoga then I'll attend a few sessions with you. But under no circumstances will I ever tell a girl that she "cannot" do yoga or a weaving class knowing that she was into these things prior to meeting me. Which is the same reason that your significant other shouldn't tell you what you can and cannot do.
Spoken like a single man!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mumford View Post
If you're married and still think of money as "mine and hers" vs "yours together" than you're in for a long and difficult road. Marriage and family is about coming together as a unit.

Thinking that since she doesn't bring home a majority of the income means she can't say anything is at the heart of the problem. Again once that ring goes on you're acting as a unit. When you win she also wins, and when you lose she also loses. You're supposed to be on the journey of life together. Not just dealing with another person a lot because you live together.
Spoken like a married man!


"The fewer our wants, the nearer we resemble the gods." — Socrates

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post #15 of 108 (permalink) Old 02-18-2013, 06:24 PM
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Re: Why are men on this forum scared of their wives or girlfriends?

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Originally Posted by Aquatic Delight View Post
i think that maybe some of the times its one of those things where if the wife wasn't saying no, they would end up on hoarders. tanks everywhere, tiny walkways, even a bridge of tanks. hehe i can just see the hoarders crews faces. OMG its so beautiful.....but my god, there must be 12,000 tanks in here.....then out of a planted 250 pops the crazed husband with boesemani rainbow in his mouth!
Bwhahahaha this made me laugh out loud!

Sent from my phone, in the land of magical unicorns and rainbows!

Back on the forum after two moves across two years! Slowly getting back into the hobby!
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